Memorial Day 2008 at Section 60

I spent the Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery. All things considered, I would rather have been somewhere else, anywhere else. But sometimes you have to do the right thing, pull the covers off your head, get out of bed and face your life. On Memorial Day at Arlington, I have to literally face the headstone of my son, 1Lt Ken Ballard, who was killed in Iraq 4 years ago.

Brad Jacobsen over at at-Largely wrote a great posting putting some context into what Memorial Day 2008 should mean to this country. I encourage you to take a look.

As Brad mentioned in his post, the AP covered the events at Arlington with these words-

President Bush paid tribute Monday to America's fighting men and women who died in battle, saying national leaders must have "the courage and character to follow their lead" in preserving peace and freedom.

"On this Memorial Day, I stand before you as the commander in chief and try to tell you how proud I am," Bush told an audience of military figures, veterans and their families at Arlington National Cemetery. Of the men and women buried in the hallowed cemetery, he said, "They're an awesome bunch of people and the United States is blessed to have such citizens."

That provoked a standing ovation from the crowd in a marble amphitheater where Bush spoke. "Whoo-hoo!" shouted one woman, who couldn't contain her enthusiasm.

I agree with everything Brad writes, but I want to make it personal and add a different perspective of what happened over at Section 60 at Arlington National Cemetery, the section where my only child is buried and the section where I gathered with friends and family.

President Bush will never have the "courage and character" that those fighting men and women who died in battle had when he sent them into his battle without good reason. As Commander in Chief, he should be ashamed to stand in front of our military for any reason. This Commander in Chief hides behind the military and the vets when he does not provide adequate protection, adequate medical care, adequate training, and a fair GI Bill.

President George Bush has not attended a military funeral of anyone who died in Iraq or Afghanistan and he has not visited Section 60 at Arlington to see the more than 400 graves of young men and women who have died in the wars/occupations in Iraq & Afghanistan.

Perhaps this Commander in Chief could have had the courage and character to make time on Memorial Day to see the families who gathered at Section 60, to try to understand the pain and grief his war has caused these families. Seeing 400 white headstones in one place from these wars should be a sobering sight for anyone. But wait, Bush had to rush back to the White House to meet with with five NCAA head football coaches, who recently returned from a seven-day visit to military bases in the Middle East to boost troop morale. Meeting with football coaches on Memorial Day, but not families whose lives have been so affected by his war does send the wrong message to the families of the fallen.

I'm sure his handlers considered the possibility that a trip to Section 60 might have revealed some families who would ask him to leave, as I would have done. I do not want to be anywhere near George Bush on the anniversary of the day I got the knock on the door, and believe me, he doesn't want to be near me, either.

I can assure you that there were no "whoo-hoo's" in Section 60 on Monday. There were tears, sobs, hugs, and a palpable grief that I wouldn't wish on any one. Some families and visitors met each other for the first time and exchanged condolences and some reunited, having met in Section 60 on a prior visit. The majority of visitors while we were there were to visit the newer graves, where the pain is so fresh and is almost uncomfortable to see. We all remember intimately those excruciating early days too well.

Our family and friends travel to Arlington each Memorial Day to celebrate Ken's life. We gather to remember and celebrate how Ken lived his life and not how he died. Some visitors to Section 60 might have been caught off guard when we popped the champagne cork of the first bottle, and if they didn't understand why, I'm sorry. We all need to learn how to wake up to this new normal and figure out how to get out of bed each morning. If they aren't ready to celebrate their loved one's life, or if they cannot bear to show any joy of their loved ones lives yet, or ever, I understand.

Memorial Day is the day that Ken's grave site is to be the most decorated in Section 60 and we make a great effort to do that. We leave the leftover bottles (beer and/or champagne), flowers; lots of them, and other mementos to let Ken know that we were there and that we miss him every day. He deserves that much.

Remember the Gold Star Families; for us, everyday is Memorial Day.