The Dead Soldiers of Arlington Cemetery & Congressman Trent Franks

Congressman Trent Franks  (R-AZ) comments about the economy pissed me off tonight.  He said:

“There are people lying out in Arlington National Cemetery tonight and I wonder what their perspective would be If they could come back among us for just  few moments.  I would suggest to you they didn’t die so that we could spend our country into bankruptcy so that we could weaken our nation on all fronts simply because we weren’t fiscally responsible.  And they didn’t die so we could put ourselves so deeply in debt so that we sent tens of thousands for each little child born today so that they would have to carry that (debt) the rest of their lives.”

Congressman Franks, what the hell?  What does my dead son and more than 6100 other dead members of the military have to do with the economy?  Unless you are talking about the $3 trillion cost of the wars that you voted for and refused to pay for and has been a major cause of the current state of our economy. 

And really, why wonder what my son would think about the economy, when you voted to send him there.  Do you feel responsible for his death?  You should.

Congressman Franks, do not ever use the death of my son to justify your selfish and self-centered politics.  Do not ever imagine what my son would say about the economics of the day- do not go there.

Former President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and the rest of that administration lied to put the US into an illegal war.  Unfortunately, while you tout the sanctity of life on your website, “Trent has worked tirelessly in an effort to protect the innocent at every stage of life.” you forgot to protect the members of the military when you voted to send so many of them to their certain death.   Look to that administration for the reckless spending on the reckless wars and that is when “we sent tens of thousands for each little child born today so that they would have to carry that for the rest of their lives.”

So, Congressman Franks, leave my dead son to lie in peace at Arlington National Cemetery and I won’t wonder what your children, Joshua and Emily think about any given subject.

Arlington National Cemetery, Section 60, May 28, 2010

I wasn't sure I would be able to visit Section 60 at Arlington National Cemetery before Memorial Day this year, but I just came from there.

I was taking a cab to my hotel in Crystal City from the American Gold Star Mother's headquarters over near some embassies. On a whim, I asked my cab driver to stop at ANC. I have a pass, so it's easy to drive onto the grounds; the guards pass you right through, because they know that people who have a pass earned it the hard way by having a loved one buried at our national cemetery. The cab driver seemed overwhelmed with Arlington, at the massive size and number of white stones so symmetrically arranged; he had never visited. I realized I had never been to Ken's grave alone, so this visit was special to me, too.

Section 60 was fairly empty, much different than it will be on Monday. The flag-in ceremonies had taken place on Thursday, in preparation of this oh so important American holiday, a small American flag waving proudly in front of each headstone. The humidity was stifling and memories of Ken overwhelmed me. Why was his name on a headstone? WHY? It's been 6 years and you would think that I would get used to it, but I haven't. I know for certain I never will, no matter how many years pass.

The irony of Ken's death on Memorial Day isn't lost on me; it could have happened any other day. 1Lt Ken Ballard loved being a soldier serving his country. I hope those who knew Ken or who learned about him since his death, will take a minute on Memorial Day, to remember Ken and honor his service, as well as those who fell before him.

Section 60, the Saddest Acre in America

For those of us whose loved one died in Iraq or Afghanistan, Section 60 needs no other description. Section 60 is the final resting place at Arlington National Cemetery for our young military men & women

Ken was the 89th soldier from the Global War on Terror to be buried in Section 60. He lies in the second row, with at least 7 more rows in front of him. More than 500 families have buried their loved ones in our National Cemetery.


It wasn't hard to decide that Ken would be buried here, although it took a few months to complete the process. He was killed in May 2004 and buried in October 2004. Ken loved being a soldier and he belonged with his brothers and sisters in arms, where they will lie together in eternity.

We Section 60 families have a bond and while I do not get there as often as I would like, I have forged forever friendships with some of the families that I have met there. It takes me longer to visit Ken these days because I also visit the son's of friends who are buried there, Andy, Neil Jr, Alex, David, Russ. Their families do the same and leave mementos of love when they visit Ken's grave.

HBO is premiering a new documentary, SECTION 60: ARLINGTON MEMORIAL CEMETERY on Monday, October 13, 2008. The third in a trilogy of Iraq-related HBO documentaries (following the Emmy®-winning "Baghdad ER" and the Emmy®-nominated "Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq") from Jon Alpert and Matthew O'Neill, the moving verité special SECTION 60: ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY commemorates the lives of the deceased and the mourning of their survivors.

Back in May 2006, when HBO premiered Baghdad ER, I wrote here that that film should be mandatory viewing for everyone in the country. I expect the same of this one. We are reluctant voyeurs when we watch this kind of film, but we must witness this human cost of war, what is left behind as families try to find their new normal after this devastating loss. It would be easier to change the channel, but this is one way to honor those families who have left a piece of their heart in Section 60.

There will be tears when you watch this film, but they will be different kinds of tears than were shed while watching Baghdad ER. There will be a palpable feeling of loss and a desire to reach through the lens and offer comfort, but you know that isn't possible and that will be the hardest part in watching this film.

Doing the Right Thing

Nothing like a little sunshine on a story to bring it out of the darkness and into the public sensibilities. On July 10, Dana Milbank of the Washington Post wrote about Gina Gray, former Public Affairs Director at Arlington National Cemetery who ran afoul of her managers in an attempt to allow media coverage of funerals of Iraq war dead with permission of the families.

On Saturday, the Post reports that Army Secretary Pete Geren has asked his staff for an internal review to examine the Army's firing last month of Gina Gray. While there might be reason for some skepticism that an honest and forthright investigation will actually take place, there is hope that this publicity will encourage it. In this case, the media actually did their job and I give kudos for that.

On a related note, I was the only Gold Star Family member who had commented on the initial story. A friend suggested I send a Letter to the Editor at the Post and on Saturday with a bit of editing, my letter was one of 3 letters in response to the initial article.

When I was notified that my only child was killed in Iraq on May 30, 2004, I requested a photograph of his body's arrival at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware. My request was denied because it was "against Army regulations" and "to protect the privacy of the families" -- apparently without regard to a family's specific request.
When I was planning my son's burial at Arlington National Cemetery, I do not recall if I was asked about media coverage, but at least one reporter from The Post was present. I welcomed the presence of the media, in part because I wanted to remember the day.
America should be privileged to witness the ceremony and dignity of a military funeral.
America should be required to witness and experience a family's mournful loss as they bury a loved one. America should be allowed to mourn, if only briefly, as it bears witness to the human cost of war.
It seems that as public affairs director at the cemetery, Gina Gray, was attempting to honor the wishes of the families, and I applaud her efforts. Families going through the casualty process are extremely fragile and need more professionals like Ms. Gray to be their advocates at Arlington National Cemetery.

Further, in the initial article, Dana Milbank had written

The ghost of Rummy is proving difficult to exorcise. Defense Secretary Robert Gates has tried to sweep out the symbols of his predecessor's capricious reign, firing acolytes of Donald Rumsfeld and bringing glasnost to the Pentagon. But in one area, Rummy's Rules still pertain: the attempt to hide from public view the returning war dead.

One of the other Letters to the Editor was from Keith Urbahn from Donald Rumsfeld's office.

To the contrary, the longstanding Defense Department policies reflected the American public's right to know of the sacrifices made by U.S. men and women in uniform while respecting their family members' wishes for privacy.
Further, Mr. Milbank's suggestion of Mr. Rumsfeld's ongoing influence over personnel decisions -- a year and a half after his departure from the Pentagon -- is a ridiculous stretch, and it is a discredit to the men and women at the Defense Department who decide and implement the policies governing how the nation's fallen are laid to rest.

Mr Urbahn is full of crap. It's not surprising that Mr Urbahn protests so much especially when this kind of incident clearly demonstrates how some people at the Department of Defense drank the Rumsfeld koolaid willingly and still do. Mr Urbahn's boss's unfortunate lasting legacy will always be the arrogance he had for the military and their families. Rumsfeld's casual attitude towards the conditions of the boots on the ground and the damage his policies caused only added to the anguish we families of the fallen live with daily. (Don't forget that back in 2004, as Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld could not be bothered to personally sign the letters of condolence that he sent to more than 1000 families of the fallen)

Finally, thanks to Operation Yellow Elephant for noting my original comment. The kind words are gratefully appreciated.

Putting Her Foot Down and Getting the Boot

Former Arlington Public Affairs Director, Gina Gray was recently fired after being on that job for less than 3 months. It seems that Ms Gray felt that her job was, in part, to be an advocate for families. Dana Milbank from the Washington Post reports that Ms Gray

discovered that cemetery officials were attempting to impose new limits on media coverage of funerals of the Iraq war dead -- even after the fallen warriors' families granted permission for the coverage. She said that the new restrictions were wrong and that Army regulations didn't call for such limitations.

Just 10 days on the job, she was handling media coverage for the burial of a Marine colonel who had been killed in Iraq when she noticed that Thurman Higginbotham, the cemetery's deputy superintendent, had moved the media area 50 yards away from the service, obstructing the photographs and making the service inaudible. The Washington Sketch column on April 24 noted that Gray pushed for more access to the service but was "apparently shot down by other cemetery officials."

In response to Gray's actions, retaliation in her workplace took place from her supervisors. Further, Milbank reports,

Arlington's problems with the burial of the Iraq dead go far beyond Gray; the cemetery is looking for its fourth public affairs director in the past few years. Gray contends that Higginbotham has been calling the families of the dead to encourage them not to allow media coverage at the funerals -- a charge confirmed by a high-ranking official at Arlington, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. Gray says Higginbotham told staff members that he called the family of the next soldier scheduled for burial at Arlington and that the family, which had originally approved coverage, had changed its mind. Gray charges that Higginbotham admitted he had been making such calls to families for a year and said that the families "appreciated him keeping the media out."

When I was notified my only child was killed in Iraq on 5.30.2004, I requested a photograph of his body being treated with dignity and respect as he arrived at Dover AFB, the mortuary for the military. I was repeatedly denied my request that week because it was “against Army regulations” and “it is to protect the privacy of the families”- apparently without regard to a family’s specific request.

Additionally, should a family wish to meet their loved one’s remains as they make the final journey home, the Department of Defense strongly discourages family members from coming to Dover to watch the caskets of the dead unload. "It's a tarmac, not a parade ground".

When I was planning my son’s burial at Arlington National Cemetery, I cannot remember if I was asked about media coverage, but at least one reporter from the Washington Post was present. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A55823-2004Oct22.html While Mr Markon’s report was not totally accurate, it provided a fair representation of the service. I welcomed the presence of the media, in part, because I wanted to remember the day.

America should be privileged to witness the ceremony and dignity of a military funeral. America should be required to witness and experience a family’s mournful loss as they bury their loved one, whose years on this earth were too few. America should be allowed to mourn, if only briefly, as they bear witness to the human cost of war. America owes at least that much respect for those who died while serving their country, while so few others serve.

It seems that Ms Gray was making an attempt to honor the wishes of the family, something that a family may not be able to stand up for during this difficult time and I applaud her efforts. Families going through the casualty process are extremely fragile and need more professionals at ANC like Ms Gray to be their advocate.

After more than 7 years of war and 4662 US casualties from Iraq & Afghanistan, one would have hoped for more transparency from an administration responsible for the carnage. I have little hope that the wishes of Gold Star families will ever be a priority during this presidency. January 2009 cannot come too soon for this Gold Star Mother.

Memorial Day 2008 at Section 60

I spent the Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery. All things considered, I would rather have been somewhere else, anywhere else. But sometimes you have to do the right thing, pull the covers off your head, get out of bed and face your life. On Memorial Day at Arlington, I have to literally face the headstone of my son, 1Lt Ken Ballard, who was killed in Iraq 4 years ago.

Brad Jacobsen over at at-Largely wrote a great posting putting some context into what Memorial Day 2008 should mean to this country. I encourage you to take a look.

As Brad mentioned in his post, the AP covered the events at Arlington with these words-

President Bush paid tribute Monday to America's fighting men and women who died in battle, saying national leaders must have "the courage and character to follow their lead" in preserving peace and freedom.

"On this Memorial Day, I stand before you as the commander in chief and try to tell you how proud I am," Bush told an audience of military figures, veterans and their families at Arlington National Cemetery. Of the men and women buried in the hallowed cemetery, he said, "They're an awesome bunch of people and the United States is blessed to have such citizens."

That provoked a standing ovation from the crowd in a marble amphitheater where Bush spoke. "Whoo-hoo!" shouted one woman, who couldn't contain her enthusiasm.

I agree with everything Brad writes, but I want to make it personal and add a different perspective of what happened over at Section 60 at Arlington National Cemetery, the section where my only child is buried and the section where I gathered with friends and family.

President Bush will never have the "courage and character" that those fighting men and women who died in battle had when he sent them into his battle without good reason. As Commander in Chief, he should be ashamed to stand in front of our military for any reason. This Commander in Chief hides behind the military and the vets when he does not provide adequate protection, adequate medical care, adequate training, and a fair GI Bill.

President George Bush has not attended a military funeral of anyone who died in Iraq or Afghanistan and he has not visited Section 60 at Arlington to see the more than 400 graves of young men and women who have died in the wars/occupations in Iraq & Afghanistan.

Perhaps this Commander in Chief could have had the courage and character to make time on Memorial Day to see the families who gathered at Section 60, to try to understand the pain and grief his war has caused these families. Seeing 400 white headstones in one place from these wars should be a sobering sight for anyone. But wait, Bush had to rush back to the White House to meet with with five NCAA head football coaches, who recently returned from a seven-day visit to military bases in the Middle East to boost troop morale. Meeting with football coaches on Memorial Day, but not families whose lives have been so affected by his war does send the wrong message to the families of the fallen.

I'm sure his handlers considered the possibility that a trip to Section 60 might have revealed some families who would ask him to leave, as I would have done. I do not want to be anywhere near George Bush on the anniversary of the day I got the knock on the door, and believe me, he doesn't want to be near me, either.

I can assure you that there were no "whoo-hoo's" in Section 60 on Monday. There were tears, sobs, hugs, and a palpable grief that I wouldn't wish on any one. Some families and visitors met each other for the first time and exchanged condolences and some reunited, having met in Section 60 on a prior visit. The majority of visitors while we were there were to visit the newer graves, where the pain is so fresh and is almost uncomfortable to see. We all remember intimately those excruciating early days too well.

Our family and friends travel to Arlington each Memorial Day to celebrate Ken's life. We gather to remember and celebrate how Ken lived his life and not how he died. Some visitors to Section 60 might have been caught off guard when we popped the champagne cork of the first bottle, and if they didn't understand why, I'm sorry. We all need to learn how to wake up to this new normal and figure out how to get out of bed each morning. If they aren't ready to celebrate their loved one's life, or if they cannot bear to show any joy of their loved ones lives yet, or ever, I understand.

Memorial Day is the day that Ken's grave site is to be the most decorated in Section 60 and we make a great effort to do that. We leave the leftover bottles (beer and/or champagne), flowers; lots of them, and other mementos to let Ken know that we were there and that we miss him every day. He deserves that much.

Remember the Gold Star Families; for us, everyday is Memorial Day.