Having a pity party

Some days it sucks to be me and today is one of those days. Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of the death of the son of one of my Gold Star Mom friends. None of us want that Gold Star pin that the military presents us at the funeral of our sons, but we sure as hell earned it the hard way. I wear my pin every day.

I left a message for my friend because that is what we do on these “death day” anniversaries. We remember because the general public does not. She called me back and told me she wasn’t really answering the phone on her anniversary; she was sure I understood and of course, I did. I don’t answer the phone much on May 30 either and all my Gold Star friends understand.

When my friend called me this morning she told me it was a hard day yesterday, and that today- the anniversary day of the day she got the news seemed even harder. She said that 5 years was weird. 5 long years. Thanks for the warning since I'm about 5 weeks away from my 5 year! I thought after the one year anniversary that things would get better, that all of the firsts without Ken would be behind me. Indeed they were, but then it became the 2nd birthday without, the 3rd Mother’s Day without, 4th Easter without, Christmas, death day anniversary and every day without Ken- forever.

This life as a Gold Star mom gets different but it doesn’t get better at all. Learning to live without Ken will always be the hardest thing that I do every day. Knowing I will never hear his voice, feel his hug and see that twinkle in his eye, that is the hard part. Truth be told, I find it very hard to think about living a long life without Ken. I look at Gold Star moms from the Viet Nam era and do not know how they have lived so long with a big hole in their hearts. I just don't know.

In the bloodiest day in more than a year, 75 Iraqi’s were killed today and at least 120 wounded in 2 explosions in Baghdad today. Everybody (in Iraq) knows somebody killed by the war Conversely, for the most part the people of the United States do not know anyone who was killed in Iraq or Afghanistan, because they don’t have to. They can live their life with and never think about the war and we Gold Star families live our lives forever changed because of that one knock on the door.

The cherry on top of this day is hearing all the details about the enhanced interrogations or torture approved and directed by senior members of the Bush administration. And no, these techniques weren't to prevent the scary mushroom cloud of another attack that was dangled in front of the country as the drums beat louder and louder on the way to the invasion of Iraq. According to a former senior U.S. intelligence officer, the Bush administration applied relentless pressure on interrogators to use harsh methods on detainees in part to find evidence of cooperation between al Qaida and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's regime.

Not only did the Bush administration lie about the reasons to go to war, they tortured in our name to get the evidence to prove ties between al Qaida and Iraq; ties that were never there. While I generally don't like to play "what if", that is a key component in a pity party. What if Bush was never president? How all of our lives would be different.

Special hugs to Mary for her anniversary this week and for Carrie & Ken for their 5 year anniversary next week.

Bush Birds of a Feather

Birds of a feather stick together. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Mullen & Gates are all cut from the same dishonest cloth. They keep telling the same lies, and presenting the last 8 years through the rosy lenses that they view life, and therefore so should we. These birds do stick together. If we ever had faith in this presidency, that died long ago.

Bush is still singing the praises of his disastrous former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld. At a military appreciation parade in Fort Myer, Va., began his remarks by saying he was proud to serve with Vice President Dick Cheney and other members of his administration. Bush also thanked the Joint Chiefs of Staff and members of the military. "The decisions I made as your commander-in-chief have not always been popular”, Really? Really? At least Bush got the message from those of us who did not support the war or his administration. But, isn't “have not been popular” a bit of an understatement? 29% favorable ratings is not "have not been popular", it is pretty much as low as you can go.. It might have been more honest to have said they have been disastrous and a failure from day 1.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mike Mullen couldn't praise Bush long enough. I wouldn't have been able to identify who he was talking about except for the context on the White House website and the accompanying photo. Speaking to those assembled at the grounds of Ft Myer, not far from Arlington National Cemetery, Section 60, where the US military who have been killed in Iraq & Afghanistan lay, Mullen said,

Those voices are an answering volley to you for your high regard and great respect for every single man and woman who serves this nation.

After this nation was attacked by a rising evil, the same evil which later murdered many others in places like London, Madrid, Islamabad and Mumbai, you quickly led us from the grip of fear to a serenity of purpose and unity of action -- serenity well beyond our dreams on September 12th, when all thought further attack was not only likely, but gravely imminent. And through your vision, a new national security was rendered to reach our enemies where they hid and trained and celebrated deadly crimes.

We sent our forces to hills and caves, alongside tribesman on horseback to root them out and hunt them down. We liberated Iraq from tyranny, now on the road to renewal. And we are shifting our focus to Afghanistan. We applauded as you, Mrs. Bush, worked for the freedom and education of young women, and gave hope to children scarred by hate. And always, sir, we felt your unmatched confidence in us, which only made us better.

Yes, we know these images well and we treasure them. But what wasn't always often an image was how you, as our First Family, fully embraced our military family with words of love and prayers of hope. For you have proven that how well we care for our wounded and the families of the fallen defines who and what we really are as a nation. You made it personal, and that has made all the difference.

With quiet dignity, you stretched out hands to those touched by loss, unimaginable loss that can never be made whole so they might be touched yet again.

"fully embraced our military family with words of love and prayers of hope"? Oh please! For you have proven that how well we care for our wounded and the families of the fallen defines who and what we really are as a nation? If the documented pathetic and uncaring care for our wounded and families of the fallen defines who we are as a nation, we should be horribly and tragically embarrassed. If we cannot provide proper and life-long care for our military and our veterans, we have no business going to war! ever! Thde sad thing is, George W Bush is not capable of taking or making anything personal except himself and that made all the difference.

Bush closed with this statement to the military: We will always remember that you answered the call to serve when your nation needed you most. We will always remember that you did your duty with honor and dignity. It's too bad that he, as their Commander-in-Chief did not do the same- do his duty with honor & dignity instead of dishonor and lies.

I have had enough of this administration and all that is wrong with it. With less than 2 weeks to go, they should just shut up and sit down. If they all want to get kissy and smoochy about each other as the sun sets on their time in Washington, they can do it in private. After all, privacy and secrecy was their badge that they wore with pride, screw the rest of us. These birds of a feather just need to get the flock out of here!

Bush- Then & Now

THEN

NOW

Illustration by Jean-Pierre Kunke

Couldn't happen to a better crew.

Up Yours, Bush!

The Bush administration will not go quietly. The latest "eff-you" to women in America is the attempt to redefine certain methods of contraception as abortion.

The San Jose Mercury News posted an editorial earlier this week that pretty much sizes it all up.

President Bush has spent his eight years in office fighting a social war against American women's right to choose. Now he is orchestrating one last campaign to try to curb abortion. This is one surge that must be defeated.

The Bush administration knows it can't win this fight in Congress. So its latest effort is a draft proposal by the Department of Health and Human Services that purports to clarify workers' rights to refuse to provide abortions.

The new rules define abortion as "any of the various procedures - including the prescription, dispensing and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action - that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation."

It doesn't take a medical expert to know that definition includes birth control pills, IUDs and "Plan B" emergency contraception. Sen. Hillary Clinton said that if birth control is defined as abortion, it would permit individuals and health-care corporations to refuse to provide family planning.

The new regulations could also invalidate California's and a dozen other states' laws that ensure women's access to safe, affordable contraceptives.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi have joined in the fight to get Health and Human Services Secretary Michael Leavitt to reject the draft proposal. They should make clear to President Bush that his final effort to block women's right to choose is destined to fail.

With 171 days left in this administration, it is obvious we can't take our eyes off the ball. Apparently his legacy as worst president ever isn't as well established as he thinks it should be and there is still more damage to be done.

Regrets? I've got a few

It's a bit late for regrets, but George Bush never was known for his timing or his sincerity. Regardless, in his farewell tour of Europe, he seems to think the UK was a safe place to let down his Frat Boy in Chief bravado. Introspection is good for the soul and indeed a sign of leadership, which explains why Bush is the person he is.

In an exclusive interview with the TimesOnline out of the UK, Bush

expressed regret at the bitter divisions over the war and said that he was troubled about how his country had been misunderstood. “I think that in retrospect I could have used a different tone, a different rhetoric.”

Phrases such as “bring them on” or “dead or alive”, he said, “indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace”. He said that he found it very painful “to put youngsters in harm’s way”. He added: “I try to meet with as many of the families as I can. And I have an obligation to comfort and console as best as I possibly can. I also have an obligation to make sure that those lives were not lost in vain.”

President Bush has admitted to The Times that his gun-slinging rhetoric made the world believe that he was a “guy really anxious for war” in Iraq. He said that his aim now was to leave his successor a legacy of international diplomacy for tackling Iran.

George Bush told People Magazine "I'm sleeping a lot better than people would assume", so it's highly unlikely that he found it very painful “to put youngsters in harm’s way”, and anyway as long as it wasn't his youngsters, it will never be that painful enough.

Bush has met with approximately 10% of families of the fallen, which I would not consider meeting "as many families as he can". You don't need to dig too deeply to find that the majority of families of the fallen that he meets continue to support his failed policies even while support among military families is falling (six out of every 10 military families disapprove of Bush's job performance and the way he has run the war, rating him only slightly better than the general population does.) . These families of the fallen, think the war needs to continue in some misplaced attempt to allow their loved ones to "not die in vain". I couldn't disagree more. How can more bloodshed in this endless occupation honor the life and death of my son, 1Lt Ken Ballard?

Bush has already left his successor a legacy that will require diplomacy, creativity, curiosity, tenacity and intelligence, all traits that he lacks, to undo all the wrongs of his administration. He should not do one more thing to "tackle Iran". He should just sit in a corner quietly and do nothing for the next 222 days. We could do worse than that.

Bush should save his regrets and see if they get him through the Pearly Gates, because they are wasted on me. As for my regrets? I've got a few.....

• That 4094 US casualties, including my son and will never come home to their families because of George Bush's war.
• That 30,000 US wounded will bear the scars of war forever and the government who sent them to war can't seem to care less about them once they return home.
• That we will never know the number of suicides of Iraq war vets and that Ira Katz and Deputy Secretary of Veterans Affairs Gordon Mansfield still hold their jobs at the VA.
  
• That it took this country 7+ years to really understand how bad of a president #43 is.
• That 28% of this country still approves of the job Bush is doing. Who are these people?
• That Bush thinks in any way that he is a "man of peace". Not in this lifetime, not in any lifetime will that describe him.

need I continue?

400 days

....but who's counting?

In 400 days, barring an impeachment miracle, the reign of King George W Bush will be over. Let the countdown continue. January 20, 2009 cannot come soon enough. I cannot see that our country will ever recover from the damage caused by this presidency; maybe some day it will, but not in my lifetime. George will go back to Texas to clear brush and occasionally clean hisself up and go on the speaking circuit to give some speeches, just to replenish the ol’ coffers expecting to make more than $50 to $75 thou like daddy's making. (hey, those are his words, not mine). And George will have not a clue the devastation left in his path, nor the cleanup required; he doesn't have a clue now.

I would like to think that we can get Habeas Corpus back, we can end the lying & spying, end they dying in Iraq & Afghanistan, end torture, fund veteran's issues, fund children's health insurance, restore some of our reputation in this world and a myriad of other things that have gone so desperately wrong since this administration took office. I'd like to think so, but I'm not sure that our Congress really, truly gets it.

With a president whose poll numbers are in the 20's, where's the spine? Congress should just say NO to this lame duck president and his pathetic supporters; JUST SAY NO! There need not be status quo for the next 400 days; that's not why we sent Congress to DC in 2006. We sent Congress to Washington to end this endless occupation and to stand up to the president.

Oh, wait, it's midnite, there are now 399 days till Bush administration is over. Time flies and all.

Bush's hypocritical earmarks

Thanks to Satyam over at Think Progress for a great post with details about the earmarks that are included in HR3043, Departments of Labor, Health and Human Services, and Education, and Related Agencies Appropriations Act, 2008 . Seems like Bush failed to find anything wrong with several millions in earmarks aimed at Bush family projects, as if we wouldn't notice. The credibility and effectiveness of this president is lower than his approval rating at 31%, within 2 points of his all time low from the summer of 2007. Do we really have to put up with him for another 430 days? 1/20/09 cannot come too soon.

Bush Stuffs Spending Bills With Earmarks For Dad’s Foundation, Wife’s Librarian Program

On Monday, President Bush explained his veto of the recent Labor-HHS bill, claiming the “majority” in Congress had abandoned his “clear goals for the Congress to reform the earmarking process” and was “acting like a teenager with a new credit card.”

In reality, Bush “stuffs his budget with billions for pet projects.” According to Senate Democrats, Bush placed 580 earmarks worth $15.6 billion in a recent military and veterans appropriations request, along with “billions” in the energy and water spending bill:

Some presidential earmarks have obvious roots, such as $24 million for the Laura Bush 21st Century Librarian Program. The president earmarked a billion dollars for the Reading First program, which was criticized by government auditors for steering contracts to favored companies. He also sought $8.9 million for the Points of Light foundation, a pet project started by his father, former President George H.W. Bush.

Congress slashed $676 million from Bush’s request for Reading First and eliminated the Points of Light funding. Bush retaliated by vetoing the Labor, Health and Human Services, and Education bill.

The Democratic-led Congress has made major advances in earmark reform in contrast to the profligate spenders of recent conservative-led Congresses. An analysis by Citizens Against Government Waste estimates that earmarks in FY08 appropriations bills are “down about 33 percent from the $29 billion in earmarks in FY06 spending bills”:

The report showed a significant reduction in one of the largest magnets for earmarks, the Defense appropriations bill. The FY08 measure, by the group’s reckoning, included 2,074 projects worth $6.6 billion. This compared to 2,822 projects worth $14.9 billion in the FY06 bill.

The group also said Democrats have made strides against earmarks in the Labor-HHS spending bill, which Bush vetoed Tuesday.

Last week, Bush also hypocritically lambasted “the majority” in Congress, ignoring the fact that the largest earmarks in the legislation that he vetoed were from Republican Sens. Mitch McConnnell (KY) and Richard Shelby (AL).

“Republicans’ newfound fascination with spending stems from a simple reality: They suffered badly over the issue in 2006,” notes the Wall Street Journal. Ironically, President Bush should be the target in his “war over earmarks.“

4 years for what?

It is unbelievable that our young men and women have been fighting for 4 years in Iraq. As the sun rises this morning we see the start of the 5th year of George Bush's occupation in Iraq. This morning, 5 families are waking up to what they think is their normal life. They will make coffee and go through their mental to-do list, and they don't know how one knock on their door will change their lives forever. These 5 families don't know that when they open the door, they will be faced with someone in official military dress. Their loved ones are dead and they are never coming home.

The president begs us for patience and gave a stark warning against the temptation “to pack up and go home.” George Bush just wants a do-over because 4 years of fighting and killing has not gotten him that victory that he promised and he will stop at nothing until he gets it. The problem is, his definition of victory is not clear. He wants to stay the deadly course. Of course he didn't use that phrase because it's been replaced by the newer and more hip term, "surge" It's all the same.

Tony Snow, the mouthpiece for the White House says It would also force failure of the mission in Iraq and forfeit the sacrifices made by our troops.”

A CNN poll shows that 35 percent of Americans are confident about the war. When the war began, 83 percent of Americans expressed confidence in the invasion. The Iraqi people are seeing hope slip away and see conditions worse for availability of electricity, jobs, medical care, security as compared to 2005.

And I am just weary. Ken's gone and he's never coming home. When I lost only child Iraq in May 2004, I lost my future. 3218 US soldiers have been sacrificed in George's folly.

Tony Snow or anyone else should not tell us "The sacrifice of our troops would have been for nothing if we don't continue this war". How can anyone possibly think that one more dead soldier would get us closer to that elusive “victory”? Every day you neglect to end this war you are also condemning 3 more US troops to death. My son and the 3200+ other troops whose lives were sacrificed and wasted by George Bush will be best honored by a nation and a Congress with the courage to end this war. I urge you to have the same courage that my son and his fellow troops exhibited when their Commander in Chief gave orders to invade Iraq. You must have the courage to stand up to that same Commander in Chief and say NO escalation, NO more troops, NO more funding for this hideous war.

Members of Congress can stop saying that they "voted against the war". That is no longer enough. That vote was more than 4 years ago; what have they done for the troops lately?

With the right leadership, the US can stop the occupation in Iraq, improve education and health care for all of us including returning veterans, really do something about improving the environment and even regain our world standing. Is the 110th Congress up to this challenge? We will see.

Let's just get the hell out of Iraq, bring the troops home and take very good care of them when they get here.

This Gold Star Mom's Fantasy

Brilliant Speech

Mike Luckovich