Showing posts with label Iraq. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Iraq. Show all posts

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving 2009

On Thursday, my family will once again have an empty chair at our Thanksgiving table. This will be the 6th Thanksgiving since my only child, 1Lt Ken Ballard was killed in Iraq.  As the holidays loom, so many Gold Star families are in a funk.  Whether it has been 9 years or 9 months, the truth seems especially harsh at this time of year.  "They are never coming home" repeats in our heads over and over again, they will never fight for the drumstick, or play football before dinner, or bound in with the energy of a puppy dog who just wants to love and love back. There will be no hugs and there will be no hands to hold. These seats are forever empty.

The other empty seats at Thanksgiving tables are those with loved ones who are serving their country in harm's way, 168,000 in Afghanistan, 115,000 in Iraq and so many others in places that do not make the news at all.  Our wish for them is that their empty seats are only temporary and that there will be a quick and safe return for their loved ones

President Obama will spend the holiday with his family in tact, in the warmth, comfort and safety of the White House or Camp David, while thousands of military families from Fort Campbell, KY and Ft Drum, NY wait to hear the deployment plans of their loved ones.  Rampant rumors are flying that Obama has finally decided on his strategy for Afghanistan.  The plan calls for the deployment over a nine-month period beginning in March of three Army brigades from the 101st Airborne Division at Fort Campbell, Ky., and the 10th Mountain Division at Fort Drum, N.Y., and a Marine brigade from Camp Lejeune, N.C., for as many as 23,000 additional combat and support troops.

I am thankful that our president has spent so much time deliberating this strategy; it is refreshing that he has taken the time to analyze the options, none of which is good- he was left with a hot mess and no one can argue any differently. But what will be the determining factor in this decision?  Will it be politics? 

Obama will be addressing the nation next week to announce/defend his plan. Americans remain divided about any troop increases with half of the people questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey say they'd support such a decision, with 49 percent opposed. Americans oppose the war in Afghanistan 52 percent and 45 percent are in support.  These are not pretty numbers from the President's point of view; his decision will still divide the country.  But The Hill reports that the president said “My intention is to finish the job,” Obama said in comments from the White House. “I think once the American people hear a clear rationale for what we're doing there and how we intend to achieve our goals, they will be supportive,” Obama said.  I'm not so sure.


I don't know what "finish the job" means. Our former president sent troops into Afghanistan 8 years ago hell bent on revenge and perhaps some would say misguided retribution.  Once Bush was distracted by that shiny ball that was Iraq, Afghanistan was pretty much abandoned, leaving the troops understaffed,  ill equipped and poorly trained in Middle East culture. The military in both countries has performed admirably and far exceeded everything we have asked of them with little support from the tax payers who have not had to pay a "war" tax.  Apparently it's okay for their grandchildren to pay their bill.


In our 9th year of combat operations in Afghanistan, 928 US troops have lost their lives and in 7 years of combat operations in Iraq, we have lost 4365 US members of the military.  This doesn't count the number of suicides, the broken marriages and broken lives because those really aren't substantiated and besides, it doesn't affect most people, at least that's what they think.

I had hoped that Obama's trip to Dover AFB to see the dignified transfer of bodies as they come home from Iraq &Afghanistan would be meaningful as he saw the deeply grieving families as they welcome their loved ones home on that cold and windy tarmac.  I had hoped that the trip to Section 60 at Arlington National Cemetery would be meaningful as the President and Mrs Obama walked through those white stones at our national cemetery.  As they spoke to the families and read the names on those headstones, I had hoped that the sacrifice would be palpable and would weigh heavily on this new President's shoulders because by now, he surely knows the human cost of war.  But, what drives him?  Is he another "war president"?  As much as it pains me to think this, it seems so. If you haven't called or written to your member of Congress, you must let them know that continuing military operations is not what we want and the current foreign policy also must be be changed.

Early on this Thanksgiving 2009, I am thankful that I am with my my parents and 2 of my sisters. We have a roof over our heads and we will have a good meal. I am thankful that I have a job that I like and where I am respected. I am thankful for old friends and new ones. I am thankful for my Gold Star family friends and I wish for them a better day and a day full of memories that will warm their hearts. I'm not sure we will ever figure out how to live with this hole in our hearts, but we will get up tomorrow and the next day, and the next and we will speak our minds, because we have earned that right and becasue we know if we can't speak, another Gold Star family member  will step forward..  I am thankful that we have a President who has actually attended the dignified transfer at Dover AFB and one who has walked through Section 60- neither of those were easy, but he did it anyway.  I am thankful that President Obama lifted the media ban at Dover and now families can have the photograph of their loved one, the one I never got. Later today, we will remember who filled our empty chair and we will lift our glasses and toast to those who are not with us.  We miss them today, especially today.

I hope each of you is exactly where you are supposed to be in mind, body and spirit.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Waking up Los Gatos

Los Gatos, CA is a relatively small town in the South Bay part of the San Francisco Bay Area. Population about 28,000, with an median income of $94,ooo. Average age? about 41. 83.3% of the folks in this little burb are white.

I tell you this because Mike, one of the members of Mountain View Voices for Peace (we're up the road about 20 miles) thought that we should take a walk down Santa Cruz Avenue, the main drag in Los Gatos this evening with signs for impeachment and for ending the war in uraq. Tien, of course, had his "Mend your Fuelish Ways" sign, too. Close your eyes and think about the street in your town with all the cute$t and coole$t boutiques. Don't forget the fully stocked Lamboroghini dealership on the corner. Yeah, it's that kind of street in that kind of town.

Los Gatos has not been a hotbed of protest about this war and I was afraid that that we would find that no one from this part of the Bay area even knew that the good old U of S A was involved in a war over there in Iraq. They have not suffered any casualties, so I wondered if they had been touched by this 4 year old war.

There is good news and bad news. While we found the town to be a little sleepy, especially for a Saturday night, we were able to raise some voices and garner some reactions to our signs demanding IMPEACH & OUT OF IRAQ. The reactions were mostly positive, but Los Gatos, I have to tell you that you have a couple of real mean eggs in your town. A middle aged woman was strolling down the street chatting with her friend. She couldn't miss us, all 11 of us, as she approached. With the closest thing to a Snidely Whiplash sneer, she suggested that we all be put in jail and then that we should GET A LIFE! I told her that I would like my son's life back and she told me WHO CARES? Our people were surprised, perhaps horrifed at what she said to me. Her son was killed in Iraq, they told her. WHO CARES? she repeated. Who cares, indeed? It's really kind of sad.

We decided to walk over to the overpass over Highway 17/880 to assess the situation. YES!! The road was filled with vehicles with people returning from a great sunny day at the beach over the hill in Santa Cruz. Heavy traffic was at a slow crawl when we hoisted our signs. The honking began immediately! What a great reaction! Full disclosure, there were a few people who didn't like our signs, but overwhelminglly they were in support of Impeachment and ending the war.

Trip summary? Yeah, it was a good evening. We got our point across and made people in Los Gatos realize that they aren't alone in their disatisfaction towards this president and his war and that it is okay to raise your voice.

We think we're on to something. What town nearby needs a wake up call? Los Altos, we're on the way! Campbell? you're on the list, too.

Note to readers: Proper etiquette when one passes by a demonstration or protest that you agree with would be to HONK and honk wildly in support of the cause. Don't be shy! Roll down your window and flash a Peace sign! Your honks energize the marchers and makes us feel one with you and we appreciate it!

Friday, March 09, 2007

Iraq War Veteran's Memorial Trailer




A place to come together to honor the US serviceman and woman
who have lost their lives.

Through the voics of their family and friends.
We remember those who have fallen.

Unveiling the Iraq Veteran's Memorial in this space on March 17, 2007.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

No Apology Necessary

Barack Obama said it a few weeks back "We ended up launching a war that should have never been authorized, and should never been waged, and on which we have now spent $400 billion, and have seen over 3,000 lives of the bravest young Americans wasted."

John McCain said it last night on The Late Show We wasted a lot of our most precious treasure, which is American lives over there." I heard him make that comment, but frankly, there was no blip on my radar.

Our bravest young Americans, our most precious treasure "wasted". How can you fault anyone and demand an apology when one is speaking truth? Obama apologized immediately, "It is not at all what I intended to say, and I would absolutely apologize if any (military families) felt that in some ways it had diminished the enormous courage and sacrifice that they'd shown." saying he was upset with himself for using that word. McCain backpedaled saying he regrets the comment, “I should have used the word, sacrificed, as I have in the past,”

I don't know why the Democratic National Committee is howling about McCain's use of the word. Is sacrifice a better word? According to dictionary.com sacrifice means Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim. Wasted means to be consumed, spent, or employed uselessly or without giving full value or being fully utilized or appreciated.

Using the apparently preferred word sacrifice implies that this hideous war has more value than the life of my son, Lt Ken Ballard and the 3164 casualties from Iraq and that his death was for the greater good. I disagree, as do many of the members of Gold Star Families Speak Out. And I think this media maelstrom is a bit overdone. When you have these kinds of disagreements about semantics; you are taking your eye off what really counts. And when you have these kinds of disagreements about simple words, you are buying into the Bush administration who is excellent at hiding the true cost of this war. They want us to believe that there is a better outcome ahead and that our loved ones lives were not wasted. But, these lives were wasted. Any life cut short is wasted, but a death because of this war is a huge waste to the family, friends, and this nation. This war will never have been a greater value than the lives of our loved ones.

I'd rather we work on the plan to get our troops out of Iraq, and how we can take good care of them when they get home. I'd rather worry about the condition of the Veteran's Administration as it related to the care given to our troops. I'd rather work on providing these soldiers on the ground in Iraq & Afghanistan with the proper training, and supplies that are necessary to keep them safe until we can get them home. There are so many other things to worry about. This argument is irrelevant.

And I really don't need or want an apology when someone is speaking the truth.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

No Normal Anymore

It is strange how different people in my life collide at the most unexpected times with the resulting high-highs and low-lows.

On Friday, we celebrated Will's life. Will was 21 years old when he was killed in Iraq. Earlier in the day, Micha sent me an email and told me that Felix is in Kuwait. He's been in Iraq since January 2006 and after being extended in August, he is finally coming home. I am thrilled for them, but my heart is breaking again. This is a homecoming I never got. Neither did Will's family or the 3123 Gold Star families.

Steve just arrived in Iraq for the next year, trading places with Dave, who just completed his 2nd tour in Iraq hell. Steve, Dave & Ken were inseparable in Officers Advanced Basic. Steve & Dave are Captain's now; Ken would have been a Captain, too.

As a Gold Star Mom, you never know when you are going to get slammed. You think you are having a perfectly normal day, but I guess there really is nothing perfectly normal after you bury your child who was killed in a war. This is my new normal and I swear that after nearly 3 years I thought I would have figured out what that is, but I haven't. Maybe that's the point, maybe there is no normal anymore.

Meeting Gold Star Families, speaking out publically against the war, walking the halls of Congress and taking to the streets.....that wasn't normal and it wasn't me. I thought my life was going to be one as a regular Mom living an ordinary life watching my son turn into the man I always knew he would be. Dancing with my son at his wedding as he gazed into the eyes of the woman he loved and raising grand babies (plural- Ken said he wanted 3; he even had the names picked out ;-) I guess it's not really up to us to decide how our lives will turn out or who we will be.

I received a note from another Gold Star mom the other day. She told me try to find some time to be Karen and not just "Proud Mom of Lt Ken Ballard- KIA 5.30.04" because that one moment should not define your life. She is wrong, of course. I am not the same person as I was before Ken was killed and that one moment does define my life. How can it not?

Two Countries; Two Styles

Two announcements of death, two different styles. 3123 US casualties; 132 from the UK. What does it say about the two armies or the two countries?

It is with deep regret that the Ministry of Defence must confirm the death of Private Luke Daniel Simpson, from the 1st Battalion, The Yorkshire Regiment, in southern Iraq on Friday 9 February 2007.

and

The Department of Defense announced today the death of one soldier supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. 1st Lt. Kenneth Michael Ballard, 26, of Mountain View, Calif., died May 30 in Najaf, Iraq, during a firefight with insurgents. 1st Lt. Ballard was assigned to the Armys 2nd Battalion, 37th Armored Regiment, 1st Armored Division, from Friedburg, Germany. The
incident is under investigation.



The US version of the announcement is a press release from the Department of Defense; short and to the point. The Ministry of Defence in the United Kingdom announcement is somber and gives their readers a flavor of who Private Luke Simpson was; with comments from friends, colleagues, and his commanding officer.

The Brits end their announcement with this Please note that Pte Simpson's family have requested privacy at this difficult time as they come to terms with their loss. We are grateful for the assistance of the media in this matter.

We know Bush has no regrets; he's said so much. "The invasion of Iraq, which ousted Saddam Hussein and has cost the lives of U.S. military personnel and billions of dollars, was 'absolutely' worth it, despite the absence of any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq."

Two countries, two styles....