Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Bring Troops Home Now

Monroe Anderson of the Chicago Sun-Times gets it right. His column from 5.20.07 should be mandatory reading by everyone in DC and every person who still thinks there is any chance for a military victory in Iraq. He said everything that I have been thinking.

In November 2006, there was a guarded sense of optimism when the Democrats took over in Washington. The message we sent for them to end the war seemed clear to those of us who oppose the occupation in Iraq. When Congress took their seats in January, Nancy Pelosi came out roaring like a lion telling us they had heard our message and now it seems as if they really weren't listening at all as they back down to the president on the issue of funding the war.

Next Monday, on Memorial Day I will be standing in front of my only child's grave at Arlington National Cemetery marking the 3rd anniversary of his death (we were notified on Memorial Day 2004). 1 Lt Ken Ballard was the 89th soldier to be buried at Arlington from these wars and now 336 of this nation's finest rest forever in Section 60 at Arlington. Ken was 26 years old when he was killed. He had been in Iraq for 384 days. 4 men in Ken's unit were killed; all of them after they had been extended. They all should have been home.

My heart breaks with every new death and every new casualty. It seems as long as it is someone else's son or daughter in harm's way, it is easy for Congress to walk away from this important conversation that will end this war; afterall, there is campaigning to be done.

Bring troops home now

We're waist-deep in George W. Bush's nightmarish Middle East misadventure as the new, theoretically empowered Democrats are difficult to distinguish from the old, hamstrung Dems of a year ago. They're still too timid.

Rather than deftly acting to bring the troops home, the Democrats continue their eye-shifting and throat-clearing while the killing and dying go on and on. Last week, the new majority party yielded to the oxymoron argument that we have to support the troops by keeping them in the line of fire. The Feingold-Reid Iraq Bill that would have cut the funding and thereby forced the
president to bring the troops home was defeated Wednesday in the Senate. On a procedural vote, the proposal that would have cut off money for combat operations in Iraq after March 31 of next year fell 31 votes short of the number needed to advance, losing 29-67.

The bill was defeated even as three U.S. soldiers remain missing and the death toll in Iraq is rising. The bill was defeated even as our puppet Iraqi government continues with its plans for a two-month vacation while the American men and women serving in their country are getting three months added to their yearlong tours of duty. The bill was defeated even as reports of poor care at Walter Reed Hospital for the mounting number of wounded troops is barely yesterday's news.

The Americans who voted the Democrats into power have been let down. Instead of counting on the Democrats to deliver on their implicit promise to end the occupation, we continue to count the costs of not correcting Bush's calamitous course. Those costs have been enormous in human casualties and financial resources. More than 3,300 U.S. military killed and more than 25,000 wounded -- nearly 1,000 of those amputees. A minimum of 63,796, a maximum of 69,850 civilians have been killed, according to the Iraqi Body Count Web site. More than 400 billion U.S. taxpayer dollars squandered. And we're not getting much bang for our buck. Daily attacks in Iraq have fallen only slightly to 149 in April from 157 in March. Mortar rounds are now battering the Green Zone, Baghdad's last presumed safe refuge.

Last week's vote was a loss for Wisconsin's Sen. Russell Feingold and other Democrats who want to bring the Iraq occupation to a halt. But the undertaking forced Democratic presidential hopefuls, including Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, previously reluctant to limit war funding, to come out in favor of the measure. Unfortunately, 19 Dems couldn't or wouldn't heed the distress signal that the American electorate fired last November, joining 47 Republicans in the vote to end the occupation funding. Sen. Carl Levin, chairman of the Armed Services Committee, is one of those Democrats. He said he opposes any measure that cuts off money for the war because ''we don't want to send the message to the troops'' that Congress does not support them.

That argument -- made smugly by legislators sitting safely and serenely in Washington, D.C. -- is about as logic-defying as others buzz-worded by the incompetent and corrupt Bush administration. We know them by heart. They play well to our emotions but not as well when we step back to question them. For example, could it be that setting a deadline to bring the troops home benchmarks the end of Americans dying for a continuously changing cause? What job are we staying to get done? Why are we staying where we're not welcomed? How are we supposed to secretly withdraw our troops without the insurgents knowing we're leaving?

We shocked and awed our way into Iraq four years ago, so if Baghdad should become an al-Qaida stronghold, what's to stop us from shocking and awing the city again? If 6 million Jews, surrounded by more than 200 million Arabs, have not been annihilated, why do we believe that an Iraq withdrawal will lead to a pitched battle with invading terrorist forces on Main Street in Peoria?

And, one last question: How much American blood has to flow to drown out the civil war in Iraq or cut through the hollow patriotic sloganeering here at home?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sick & Tired

I'm feeling beat up tonite. For those of you who attend street fairs, or art & wine festivals, you gotta know that being an artist at one of those venues is a lot of hard work; physical and mental. As if I don't have enough on my plate, I am one of those artists and I spent the weekend peddling my wares. Beyond the fact of having to be at a site at around 6 a.m. Saturday a.m. to put up my tent; my home for the weekend, it is physical work toting all the worldly possessions needed to put on this show. Physically, I call them the "art fair" muscles. You don't use them except when you are putting up an EZ up canopy, which really isn't that E-Z and it really can't be put up by one person regardless of what the manual says. So, I'll stop the whining about that right now. Those are the physical aches and pains, and it doesn't cover the heartbreak and the anger of the news we hear from these past several days.

The news from Iraq is just bad; no matter how you slice it or dice it, nothings going well. Last Thursday, the number of US casualties in Iraq was 3406. On Friday & Saturday 15, plus one more on Sunday. Now the number stands at 3422, just like that! 18 families have not been notified yet. These 6 months have been the worst 6 months of the war. That would be about 400 casualties since Bush announced his surge. The surge that hasn't been fully implemented yet, so God only knows what the number of casualties will be then.


The White House is trying to kill a Democratic plan to increase the size of a military pay raise next year, contending it would be too costly and that members of the armed forces are already sufficiently compensated.
In a letter from the White House Office of Management and Budget to congressional committees overseeing the military, OMB director Rob Portman said Wednesday that the administration "strongly opposes" a Democratic plan to bump up military salaries by 3.5 percent instead of Bush's request for a 3 percent jump.

That .5% adds up to $6 month for each service member. Whoever said the armed forces are sufficiently compensated has not tried raising a family on an enlisted man's salary. The next time Bush stands with military families as his backdrop, keep in mind who supports the troops.

Today, the Washington Post reports that Assessments Made in 2003 Foretold Situation in Iraq

Two intelligence assessments from January 2003 predicted that the overthrow of Saddam Hussein and subsequent U.S. occupation of Iraq could lead to internal violence and provide a, boost to Islamic extremists and terrorists in the region, according to congressional sources and former intelligence officials familiar with the prewar studies.
Now that these reports are being declassified, we have some indication of what was going on in the bony heads of this administration prior to the start of the war. None of them seem capable of telling the truth about anything.

We've got 5 soldiers identified as DUSTWUN; that's Army speak for Duty Status Whereabouts Unknown. Spc. Alex R. Jimenez, 25, of Lawrence, Mass. Pfc. Joseph J. Anzack Jr., 20, of Torrance, Calif., and Pvt. Byron W. Fouty, 19, of Waterford, Mich. are missing since May 12, 2007. Please do not forget SPC Ahmed K. Altaie, DUSTWUN since October 2006 and SSG Keith Muapin, DUSTWUN since April 9, 2004. The only think I can think of worse than having a child be killed in Iraq, is to have them classified as missing or DUSTWUN. My conversations with Keith's parents do not indicate forthright behavior coming from the Pentagon.

It doesn't seem like we will ever leave Iraq, especially when more details are coming to light about the US embassy being built in Baghdad. The Guardian reports:

Rising from the dust of the city's Green Zone it is destined, at $592m (£300m), to become the biggest and most expensive US embassy on earth when it opens in September.
It will cover 104 acres (42 hectares) of land, about the size of the Vatican. It will include 27 separate buildings and house about 615 people behind bomb-proof walls.


The story about the midnight mafia-like raid on Ashcroft's hospital room was more devious than anything Richard Nixon could have come up with. The writers for the Soprano's may have written such a scenario but figured it as implausible. Time describes it like this

White House counsel Alberto Gonzales went to John Ashcroft's hospital room on the evening of March 10, 2004 to ask the ailing Attorney General to override Justice Department officials and reauthorize a secret domestic wiretapping program, he was acting inappropriately, Ashcroft's deputy at the time, James Comey, testified before Congress earlier this week.

The administration brushes off questions about this story, hoping we'll move on, counting on the attention span, or lack thereof from the American public, as if this is just another non story that the "liberal media" is trying to use to make them look bad. (note to administration, we don't need to try to make you look bad; you are doing fine on your own) We have no idea how bad this administration is yet. We have heard of some egregious acts from this administration, but we haven't heard the half of it. God help this country.

I could go on, but my brain is just too full about how this administration thumbs it's nose at this country, the constitution and for that matter, the rest of the world. I am just tired of this occupation. I am tired of the lies from this administration. I am tired of hearing every single day that more soldiers have died. I am tired of Congress and the President, who won't stand up and do the right thing for the troops, with money, or armor or length of deployment or medical care for ALL of them, each and every one who served their country when asked. As for the supplemental budget, I am sick and tired of Congress playing footsie with the president, who seems likely to veto anything except a blank check to continue his misadventures in Iraq. People are dying!

And I'm tired of the month of May; I wish it would be over. May is a rewind of every single one of Ken's last days. May is Mother's Day and I didn't get a call or a card from Ken this year and I never will, thanks to this so called occupation. No one will ever call me mom, ever, ever again. Mother's Day weekend is the anniversary of Ken's commissioning and college graduation in 2002 and it is also the anniversary of his leaving for Iraq in 2003. In 2004 Lt Ken Ballard was killed in May, so what is there to like about May? Next week, is Jonathan's birthday, Evan's birthday, Patrick's birthday and Casey's birthday. The problem is, none of them are here to celebrate with their families because they were all killed in George Bush's war. I send my love and hugs to Vickie, Jane, Nadia and Pat, all Gold Star parents who are amazing people, but I'd trade them in a minute if only...........and they know it and so do I.

Oh yeah, I'm whining, but I'm just getting started; I've still got 9 more days until the 3rd anniversary of Ken's death. I can't believe it has been 3 years since that awful day. My brain hurts, my body hurts and my heart hurts. I just don't know why anyone can't just figure out how to end this damned war and bring the troops home to be with their families and in their communities.
Bring 'em home, just bring 'em home NOW! PLEASE!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Spring Report from our Florence Nightingale

Here is our semi regular report from a hospital in the Green Zone of Baghdad. Our Forence Nightingale is an Army Nurse, who is halfway through her deployment, but may find out soon that she, in addition to every other soldier serving in Iraq or preparing to deploy will now be serving for 15 months rather than the 12 months they had been told.

=============
Hello All!
I realize it has been another two months since I last wrote an update. These last two months have practically flown by! It's funny to me as I sit here and think about what has happened in the last two months and to be honest not too much has changed.


About mid month in March I went home on R&R. I don't think it could have come at a better time for me. I was getting to the point of some mild burn out. After you deal day in and day out with broken bodies and spirits it starts to break you down as well. You lose your compassion as you care for the new patients that arrive daily. You compare severity of injuries and wonder why the guy with a broken arm is complaining when the guy next to him is 45% burned, intubated, and is missing a limb. That may be an extreme, but it happens all the time.


They teach you in nursing school and in practice that pain is what the patients tell you it. It doesn't matter if they are sitting there with a blank expressionless face telling you that they are in the most severe pain or if they are writhing in bed. They get treated equally for pain with what the doctor has written for pain. You often question yourself if your patient really understands what you are talking about when you ask them to rate their pain on a scale of one to ten. You also have to consider the language barrier that exists too. Most frequently they tell you a high number which leaves you skeptical as they drift off back to sleep and have to actually be woken up to take their pain medicine. I realize too that certainly they can have pain even though they are asleep. It is often that they get to the state of exhaustion from the pain they are experiencing along with the emotional and physical stress they are under from their wounds. Eventually, something has to give. They get a moment where their body shuts off for a minute to try and recharge to better help them cope.

So, R&R could not have come at a better time for me. I left the night before on a helicopter to arrive to Baghdad International Airport. From there I would fly to Kuwait and then on to Germany and finally Atlanta. It is quite the journey from the CSH. It takes about 3-4 days. I luckily traveled with another female from the CSH that was good company on my trip. You sit around and wait a lot. The ever popular Army slogan of "hurry up and wait" was in full effect. It amazes me how backwards the Army does some things. I don't know if it is done like that on purpose or that no one can change the system for the better.

Anyway along my travels home, I was all curled up in my seat like the 360 other people on the plane with me when I was woken up suddenly. Keep in mind that I had my boots off, glasses off, ACU top off, and I was under my little airline blanket dreaming of nothing. I was in la la land. As I woke up, I am staring at my chalk commander reconfirming that I was a nurse and could I go and check out a soldier that was sick and throwing up. Here I am trying to go home on R&R and I'm still treating patients. Only me! So I pull on my boots and put my top back on along with my glasses and make my way to the front of the plane. The soldier is an older man that is sitting hunched over a bag throwing up. I kneel down next to him and start asking him some questions like how long have you been throwing up? I asked him about his past medical history and allergies. I asked him what had happened preceding his vomiting. I had lots of questions to ask. They are my typical questions I ask someone to help me put the pieces together of why they present in the manner that they do.

The flight attendants on the plane were very nice in assisting me. I asked if they had a first aid kit and they were able to give me the little book that lists everything that comes in it. I luckily was carrying some Phenergan with me which is a medication that helps with nausea and vomiting. It also can make you very sleepy as well. I gave him one and hoped that he would keep it down. He did end up vomiting again, but no evidence of the pill came up. I made the determination that he probably needed some fluids and the only way I was going to get them into him so that he could keep them down was by IV. The funny part was because we were on an airplane I had to talk to a doctor via phone that would allow me to open and use the first aid bag. Apparently there is paperwork to fill out and the airline attendants have to call a doctor to get permission to use the kit and be told what to do. Needless to say I got permission after speaking with the doc on the phone. The other comical part of this was as I was preparing the IV stuff; a Brigade Surgeon (a doctor) came up and asked what was going on with the guy. He said he had just woke up and noticed I was setting up an IV and thought he should see if there was something he could do. I was thinking to myself, “Oh, now you come up!” It was funny to me. Anyway to wrap it up, I started an IV on this guy while in flight gave him some fluids, and monitored him the rest of the way to Germany where we were met by the paramedics. I updated them on what had happened with the soldier and they offered to take him to the hospital, but he refused because he was just as eager as everyone else to get home on leave. I got to take some supplies from the Germans with the signature of the MD, who reported to everyone that I was the one caring for the patient and had everything covered. It was certainly an interesting way to start my leave!

I have postponed taking my CCRN exam until I return home. I actually arrived on the date the test was being given upon returning from leave. I got in at 0400 and the test was at 0900. I though it would be better if I threw away my 300.00 for the exam another day! =) I think it was a better decision on my part to reschedule and give myself a chance to get adequate rest and more study time as well. I still have other courses I need to complete while I am here to keep myself busy with. I have the Captain’s Career Course and the ECCO course which is actually phase one of the ICU course the military offers.

My R&R went well and I did exactly what I wanted, REST. I enjoyed shopping with my Mom, getting tortured by my brother, hanging out with my Dad, visiting my Aunt, Uncle, Cousins, and Grandfather, and chilling with my dogs. I spent much of my time sleeping and trying to figure out what time zone I was in. I spoiled myself with a manicure, a pedicure, and a facial. I also got my hair cut and colored. I actually felt like a girl for the first time in awhile. I ate home cooked meals, sushi, and dined at some of my favorite places. I got my steamers and a couple of cold ones. I got my Panera Asiago bagel and my Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee.

I also made a trip to Charleston, SC to visit one of my best friends, Laura and Chris. I had a great time. We visited many of the tourist spots and just relaxed. We got some of the best pizza I have had in years and watched movies. We studied for my CCRN exam. We hung out on the beach and ate bagels and took pictures. It was a very nice end to my leave. I hated getting back on that plane to head back here. Traveling back here went much more smoothly though.

The soldier I treated on our way over to the states found me and thanked me. I was also then recognized by several of the other soldiers as the “medic” and was asked for things for headache and nausea before getting on our plane ride home. It was pretty funny and I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself.

So another two months have gone by and again not much has changed. We got the news that we may be extended, but not definite word from our Chain of Command has come out yet. Apparently they have yet to extend any of the medical assets at this point, but there is always a chance. I have begun to mentally prepare myself to stay. I figure if we head home on time it will literally be like Christmas early and if we stay then I am already prepared and won’t be disappointed.

I will try and be better at giving out more updates and sending out some pictures. I have been busy on and off and have not taken that many pictures lately. I will send some along from my R&R when I get to my room tonight. In the meantime, thank you for your continued support, packages, and letters. I will write back soon; I promise. Please know that all of you are in my thoughts and in my prayers at night. I can’t wait to come home and just be ME! Talk to you soon and keep in touch!

Monday, May 07, 2007

Mother's Day for Peace



Mother’s Day has long been celebrated as a day to honor your mother. It is important to celebrate all your mom has done for you. Originally, way back in 1870, Mother’s Day was put together by mothers (who at the time had no political clout) as a call to unite women for peace. When we discovered this, it became clear that the time was perfect to put together a piece highlighting Julia Ward Howe’s inspirational proclamation from 1870 and honoring the foresight and courage of the women who stated ‘We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.’

With the help of Gloria Steinem and celebrity moms Christine Lahti, Felicity Huffman, Vanessa Williams and Alfre Woodard, Brave New Foundation has created a piece that tells the story of this important holiday. Although this proclamation was written 137 years ago, the emotions and concerns of mothers today have not changed. Mothers past and present do not want to see their children lost to war.

We are all grateful to our mothers for the long hours they have spent teaching, loving, laughing and crying with us. Please join us in honoring your mother with a message of hope for peace. http://www.mothersdayforpeace.org

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Let's take a break from this war- how about 2 months off?

As we move into May, we leave behind a month with the highest number of US casualties in Iraq in about 17 months. We mark the 4th anniversary of "Mission Accomplished". As painful as it might be to walk back in time, let's revisit what the President told us from the deck of the USS Lincoln.


Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed. (Applause.) And now our coalition is engaged in securing and reconstructing that country.

In this battle, we have fought for the cause of liberty, and for the peace of the world. Our nation and our coalition are proud of this accomplishment -- yet, it is you, the members of the United States military, who achieved it. Your courage, your willingness to face danger for your country and for each other, made this day possible. Because of you, our nation is more secure. Because of you, the tyrant has fallen, and Iraq is free. (Applause.)

Operation Iraqi Freedom was carried out with a combination of precision and speed and boldness the enemy did not expect, and the world had not seen before. From distant bases or ships at sea, we sent planes and missiles that could destroy an enemy division, or strike a single bunker. Marines and soldiers charged to Baghdad across 350 miles of hostile ground, in one of the swiftest advances of heavy arms in history. You have shown the world the skill and the might of the American Armed Forces.

He believed it at the time and he still believes it. I'd like to think he wonders why we don't, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't give us a thought.

Mission Accomplished has turned into Mission Impossible or What the Hell is the Mission? We still don't know.. 3350 US military have been killed since the initial invasion and 3215 since those famous words "Mission Accomplished". 1671 Iraqis were killed in April 2007, at least that's what we are told. How can we know for sure?

General's are coming out with strong rebukes of Bush's actions or non-actions this week. Lt General William E Odum spoke to the country this week and said this:

“To put this in a simple army metaphor, the Commander-in-Chief seems to have gone AWOL, that is ‘absent without leave.’ He neither acts nor talks as though he is in charge. Rather, he engages in tit-for-tat games…I hope the President seizes this moment for a basic change in course and signs the bill the Congress has sent him. I will respect him greatly for such a rare act of courage, and so too, I suspect, will most Americans.


and Maj General Paul Eaton spoke out with this:

This administration and the previously Republican controlled legislature have been the most caustic agents against America's Armed Forces in memory. Less than a year ago, the Republicans imposed great hardship on the Army and Marine Corps by their failure to pass a necessary funding language. This time, the President of the United States is holding our soldiers hostage to his ego. More than ever apparent, only the Army and the Marine Corps are at war - alone, without their President's support.

The president vetoes a supplemental war funding bill sent to him by Congress insisting he wouldn't accept "false" timetables. While we're talking about the Supplemental, can I ask why this war is being funded with supplemental budget and not as part of the official annual funding budget? Oh, wait, I know- this administration doesn't want us to know because we might not support the occupation. At $5 billion per month for fighting in Iraq & Afghanistan, that's no chump change.

So, it's been a pretty bad week. But the cherry on top of all this sweetness is hearing that the Iraqi politicians are considering a lengthy break this summer.

"If they go off on vacation for two months while our troops fight — that would be the outrage of outrages," said Rep. Chris Shays, a Republican. The Iraq parliament's recess, starting this July, would likely come without Baghdad politicians reaching agreements considered key to easing sectarian tensions. Examples include regulating distribution of the country's oil wealth and reversing measures that have excluded many Sunnis from jobs and government positions because of Baath party membership.

Thousands took to the streets to protest the veto, no one in DC can agree on a strategy to end this war, and the Iraqi politicians want to take a vacation. Our military is being extended to serve deployments of 15 months, and the Iraqi leaders are planning their 2 month vacation?

Unbelievable!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

No Tears for George Tenet

Back in Dec 2004, George Bush presented George Tenet the Presidential Medal of Freedom. This medal is the Nation's highest civil award presented by the President of the United States to persons who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.

There was much discussion and derision back then with people wondering why retired General Tommy Franks, Paul Bremer and George Tenet, as the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency, were honored with this medal. These men who the president said "played pivotal roles in great events and whose efforts have made our country more secure and advanced the cause of human liberty." Indeed. In 2007, we know now the pivotal role each of them played in accommodating the march into Baghdad. We also know now that our country is not more secure and the condition of human liberty worldwide has suffered.

These supposed men of honor should go directly to Section 60 in Arlington National Cemetery and place those medals at any one of those headstones, where more than 300 of our nation's best and brightest who were killed in Iraq & Afghanistan are buried. Any of those men & women will always have been more honorable than the 3 men who stood with the president that December day in 2004.

On 60 Minutes tonite, George Tenet complains that the administration used him as a scapegoat to make their case for the invasion of Iraq. He accused Andrew Card of this:

You've gone out and made me look stupid. It's the most despicable thing I've ever heard in my life. Men of honor don't do this.

and

You don't do this. You don't throw people overboard. You don't call do this — you don't call somebody in. You work your heart out. You show up every day. You're going to throw somebody overboard just because it's a deflection. Is that honorable? It's not honorable to me. OK and that's how I feel. Now had it happened and who orchestrated it and what happened, you know, at the end of the day the only thing that you have is trust and honor in this world. It's all you have. All you have is your reputation built on trust and your personal honor.


No one in the Bush adminstration is a man or woman of honor, period. That word is not in their dictionary. What is despicable is the devastation that this war in Iraq has caused to our country. My only child, Lt Ken Ballard and 3340+ other US soldiers have been sacrificed because Tenet and others wouldn't stand up to the President and tell the country the truth. For 3 years until Tenet signed a book contract, the truth was held close to Tenet's cold heart. How many lives could have been saved had Tenet had the courage to stand up and be the honorable man that he presents himself to be?

It was George Tenet who threw all of our military overboard when he didn't stand up before this country and tell us the truth that there was no planning. George Tenet complains about his loss of reputation, but where is his concern for the loss of life his silence caused?

Tenet, who for four years briefed the president nearly every day, acknowledges that the CIA made grievous errors in its assessment of Baghdad's alleged weapons programs, but argues that the agency was dismayed by equally disastrous mistakes that took place after the invasion."Our analysis assumed there was a plan for ensuring the peace," he writes in one section of a chapter called "Mission Not Accomplished," a pointed reference to Bush. "In fact, there was no strategy for when U.S. forces hit the ground."


In 2003, our military was sent into battle without adequate training and protection or a clear and defined mission. In the 5th year of the war, our military is still without the resources they need to complete the mission; whatever that mission may be.

George Tenet has a new tell all book out, so he's telling the truth now, spilling his guts. Where was the truth back in 2002-2003 when his conscience would have saved 3300+ US soldiers and countless Iraqi citizens? Now he tells us what he knew and when he knew it. Until the price was right, he chose to keep that to himself. He followed Paul Bremer's lead, who did the same thing when his book, My Year in Iraq was published a few years back. I have no patience for people whose conscience comes clean only when signing a book contract.

The money that George Tenet is receiving for writing this book and baring his pathetic soul is blood money, plain and clear. In California there are laws to prevent a criminal from profiting off his crimes. George Tenet should donate all of the profits from his book to support the troops and their families.

Tenet is not the only one who betrayed this country and betrayed the troops. He's not the first one to come clean and he won't be the last. My only question is why they waited so long and the common answer is clear- money. Tenet seems to be asking for our forgiveness, but there are some things that are unforgivable.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

No one suffers more than Laura & George Bush

We would be better off without Laura Bush in the White House but if she is going to stay, she should just keep her mouth shut. Our First lady must have missed the lesson that said "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"

Laura Bush was interviewed on the Today Show this morning and said "no one suffers more than she and her husband when it comes to watching what goes on in Iraq". Unfortunately, when I heard about this, my first thought was NOT, they must have gotten it wrong; no one would say something like that. But indeed, the current First Lady of this country has sunk as low as her mother-in-law when Barbara Bush said before the beginning of the war in Iraq: "Why should we hear about body bags and deaths? It's not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?"

Let's listen in:

ANN CURRY: Do you know the American people are suffering… watching
[Iraq]?

LAURA BUSH: Oh, I know that very much, and, believe me, no suffers more
than their president and I do when we watch this. And certainly the
commander-in-chief who has asked our military to go into harm’s way.

AC: What do you think the American people need to know…

LB: Well, I hope they do know the burden of worry that’s on his
shoulders every single day for our troops. And I think they do. I think if they
don’t, they’re not seeing what the real responsibilities of our president are.

AC: It must be hard for you to watch him in this.

LB: It’s hard. Of course, it’s absolutely hard.

What is wrong with these people? How far removed can you be from reality? Oh, I forgot, they live in George's world.

Let's hear Laura say this in her own voice:


Laura Bush said that no one suffers more than Bush and Laura herself watching what's going on in Iraq.
Neither Laura or George Bush will never, ever know how hard it is to bring your son or daughter home from Iraq in a flag covered casket. They will never know because no one in the Bush family will ever fight in this war, or any war, so her opinion is disingenuous.

It's not so bad that she says what she says; we've come to expect stupidity and insensitivity from the Bush White House. To say that Laura thinks that she and her husband would know how difficult it is to bury your child is even more patronizing to those of us who have had to bury our children who were killed in George Bush's occupation of Iraq. It's worse that she truly believes what she says and that she would find my distress confusing.

Not to be real picky, but I'd like to make one little correction. Laura's husband, the Commander in Chief did not "ask" our sons and daughters to go to Iraq- he "ordered" them to participate in an illegal invasion and occupation of a sovereign country.

I really wish these Bush people would go away for a very long time. This country needs to do some serious healing and it will never happen on these ignorant people's watch.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Video Vets Project

I work with many organizations in the peace community to speak about this war and to spread the message "Bring Them Home Now and Take very good care of them when they get here". I always speak for Gold Star Families Speak Out, a chapter of Military Families Speak Out, of which I am on the national board of directors.

I have worked with AFSC, American Friends Service Committee, who sponsors Eyes Wide Open, the display of empty combat boots. I work with our local peace groups, Mountain View Voices for Peace, Los Altos Voice for Peace and Peninsula Peace & Justice. I have participated at rallies for United for Peace & Justice and many other organizations. Members and leaders of these organizations work tirelessly for peace and have all welcomed me to speak about my son and my experience.

Some organizations stray from my main message of Bring Them Home Now and I always think long and hard about what my message is and if an organization has the same message. I try to be aware of the dynamics at any rally and make sure it will be safe to tell Ken's and my story. If, when I speak, one person get's it, the cost of this war, then I have done my job. I will continue to tell our story until they all come home.

There are many good organizations and good people who are working very hard for peace and while we may not always all be totally aligned; our message is getting to Washington and even many local legislators.

With the able assistance of Videographer, Stephen Conway and his amazing talent, I recently recorded a video as part of a project for MoveOn (see below). Here's how MoveOn describes the Video Vets project:

VideoVets: Bring Our Troops Home is an important new project that will use the power of internet video to help spread the stories that folks need to hear most: the truth about how veterans and military families feel about the war and why we need to bring our troops home safely and quickly.

Every day at MoveOn we get letters from military families and veterans who’re outraged that the president hides behind the troops to justify his policy—a policy that’s leaving tens of thousands of them stranded in the middle of an unwinnable civil war. So we teamed up with our friends at VoteVets.org to give these folks a platform to speak out.

You watch the videos and tell us what you think. We’ll take the one you select and Academy Award winning director Oliver Stone will turn it into a TV ad—spreading this message even further. Believe us, once you get started watching these you won’t be able to stop. You have until midnight (Pacific Time), April 25th, to log your ratings.



Karen Meredith



Watch this video and vote for your favorite
Here are some of the comments that MoveOn forwarded to me:
Paul B. Buffalo, NY
Dear Karen, I was very moved by your video. I am so sorry for your loss. My son is Sgt John Bruhns, who also made a video. Your message is what has been in my heart since day one of the Iraq war. I, too was against this war from the moment it began, and I listened to your message, I so vividly remembered those nights, praying, not knowing, crying, and promising God anything to just keep my son alive. My heart is heavy with grief for you and the other mothers who lost sons and daughters. I want to thank you for your powerful and eloquent message.

Esther M. Queens NY
Thank you for that incredible video and for sharing your story. It takes great courage to speak up. I am sorry for your loss. I hope that all the military mothers can have the strength and resolve you seem to have, and tell this administration- no more.

Bonnie B. Portland, ME
Dear Karen, I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Thank you for speaking out. We lost our niece, Capt. Jen Harris, USMC, on Feb. 7, 2007. It was her third tour and she was due to finally come home the week her helicopter was shot down over Baghdad. The pain to our family, and thousands of other families, American and Iraqi, is indescribable as you well know. I can't believe what our government has done. I pray that my sister finds the strength to eventually speak out as you have done so eloquently. Peace to you, Karen, and to all of us - especially our brave and honorable soldiers.

Katherine B. Brooklyn, NY
Dear Ms. Meredith, I feel compelled to let you know how very moved I was by your remarkable grace and eloquence in telling this story. I am so very sorry for your loss, so thankful to you for sharing it.

Benjamin P., Ellicott City, MD
I really thought your video was moving. And I am really thinking a lot about your tragic loss. I hope no other mothers have to suffer like this. God bless you.

John L. Hamlet, IN
I am a former marine Sgt. who served during the Viet Nam war with honor. When i saw your video clip. it brought back so many memories of what the Viet Nam war did to our young men and women of that time area. So many young people died for a worthless war. It’s just like this war is in Iraq. I cry as i watch you kneel down by your son’s grave It reminds me of all the mothers before you who lost a son or daughter to war. This war in Iraq is so much like Viet Nam was and this government of our’s is doing the same thing all over again. We haven’t learned at all from our mistakes of the past. GOD BLESS you for standing up for what is right by bringing an end to this damn war. I am sure if your son is watching from above he’s saying thank you mom. And I as a former marine Sgt thank you for your stand to help stop the war in Iraq. I am so sorry for your loss.

Dan M. Oakland CA
Dear Karen: i watched several of these videos for moveon, and your interview is by far the most thoughtful and moving. i feel for your loss and cried for the first time since i can remember.

Ann M., Phoenicia, NY
Thank you for sharing your story—I m so sorry for your loss.

Christine K., Claremont, CA
Karen - I am extremely sorry for your loss but want to thank you for your willingness to share your story so publicly. Hopefully something better can come of that by helping to bring the troops home!

John C., Miami FL
I just watched your video. I liked it a lot and gave it a very good rating. Thanks for making it. I admire you for that (and I'm sure a lot of other people will too).

Aisha K. Lawrenceville GA God Bless You. I wish that more mothers would be as courageous as you to help end this fruitless war.

Susan B. Harrisonburg, VA
Thanks you so much for making this message to bring our troops home. I cried so hard when I heard your message. I am a mother of two sons and I cannot image what you are going through. My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

3301 US dead

Before I left the house this morning, I checked http://www.icasualties.org/ for the current number of US troops killed in Iraq, as I do everyday. By all accounts, icasualties is not the official Department of Defense count, but it is the site that I check during the day for the number that I refer to.

This morning the number was 3299. I've been out and about for a few hours and now the number is 3301. The numbers keep increasing- tick tock, Knock Knock. Those uniformed members of the military, the notification team has yet to notify 6 families. Those families think their life is still normal. They may be sitting down to Sunday dinner, holding close to the fact that there is an empty seat at the table, but just for the deployment, not for ever. They may be washing the dishes, or letting the dog out for the evening when that dreaded knock on the door comes. Knock, Knock. We regret to inform you....

In April so far there have been 4.15 deaths per day, more than most months- even since the invasion in March 2003. Since George Bush announced the surge in January, 300 soldiers have died. How's that surge working for you now, George? The only promise that this president has kept is when he told us that there will be hard times, difficult times in his Global War on Terror. But he doesn't know the meaning of difficult as it relates to burying a child. As much as I would like to have this president know the pain, really understand what it means to bury your only child; I don't think he, or other members of his PNAC infested administration have the emotional wiring to feel the pain of losing a child in a war you do not support. If I thought they would be profoundly changed by the experience; if I thought they were capable of having any empathy, I would gladly share my grief, but it would be wasted and they wouldn't know what to do with human feelings anyway. The lot of them, Karl Rove, Paul Wolfowitz, Doug Feith or Richard Perle, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice, or Dick Cheney; not one of them has a soul. They only care for themselves, their egos & greed and I suspect, they don't really care that much for their families, despite what it may look like. They just don't know how.

I guess my feelings of melancholy, or bitterness or anger- you choose which, I'll just wallow in it, come from this weekend. On Saturday, I attended the memorial of Spc James Coon Walnut Creek, CA. Even in the cool, rainy weather, hundreds of people attended and honored Jimmy's life. Jimmy was only 22 and while the ceremony was lovely and you just knew he was the kind of child that loved and was loved, I had to keep asking WHY? Why did Jimmy have to die and leave his family with such a big hole in their hearts. On my way home, I stopped by the memorial crosses that sprouted up on a hillside in Lafayette, CA last winter. A cross had been labeled with Jimmy's name already; I left flowers for him and for Ken & Patrick McCaffrey. With 3289 crosses (they update the number on Sundays) organically placed, remembering and honoring the US dead in George Bush's Iraq adventure, all I can think is WHY? Why did they have to die?

This afternoon, I attended a reunion of Gold Star families who had taken part in a project called Stories of Service sponsored by the Digital clubhouse in San Jose, CA. Since the summer of 2005, about 20 digital stories have been written, narrated and documented by family members of soldiers and Marines who were killed in Iraq. None of the stories have been political, they've all been about the little boys who grew up to serve their country. This is a time to honor our sons & daughters, husbands and wives. I've seen Ken's story dozens of times, heck, I wrote the danged thing, but it sill makes me cry. Imagine watching a dozen of these stories in one sitting, which we did today. I was the project leader on the most of the stories to date and I am grateful that each Gold Star family took that leap of faith and painfully went through photos and music so their story would represent their loved ones just so. The loss of these young men was so unnecessary, I kept asking myself WHY they had to die?

None of the Sunday evening news shows mentioned the new milestone number that passed 3300 sometime this afternoon our time. I guess it's not news anymore; I guess it's not important to most people. But I promise you, every Gold Star family feels the pain for each new casualty as the numbers keep mounting, tick tock; knock, knock.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The "E" word

Extension. The rumors had been flying for weeks. No one knew just how deeply and directly it would affect every member of the military who is now or will be doing time in Iraq or Afghanistan (oh, and don't think Afghanistan is any better than Iraq). It is the latest move by the Pentagon to cope with the strains of fighting two wars simultaneously and maintaining a higher troop level in Iraq as part of President Bush's revised strategy for stabilizing Baghdad. What good does a high troop level do if they are demoralized, devastated and just plain exhausted from their expected 12 month deployment?

The hard, ugly truth is that these soldiers will be staying in Iraq for 15 months, not the 12 months on their orders. They say, 15 months "in country" to assure that they will have 12 months with their families when they get home. Yeah, right, if there is a family left still waiting. Divorce rates are soaring among military families; who can sustain a relationship, married or not if the deal is you keep having to go through that revolving door to Iraq, back home, only to return to Iraq. It is obscene that this administration thinks that 15 months in the hell hole that is Iraq is okay. No big deal, it's just 3 months longer than they were expected to serve. No big deal.

The administration says this country is at war; there have to be sacrifices, but I wonder why it has to be the same 1% who are bearing those sacrifices? No, this country is not at war; our military is, and Bush should just stop saying that.

That many service members heard the news of the extension via email from their spouses or family members just shows how little regard this administration has for the military they lead. There was no advanced notice from the Department of Defense to the families so they could process this tough news. There was no consistent, timely message from their commanders to the troops in the field so that all who were affected would find out at the same time. They can find out from the news media, just like everyone else. What does it matter? They all volunteered.

Back in April 2004 when my son, Lt Ken Ballard was still alive and the 1st Armored Division was extended for 120 days, the families were devastated. When Ken called to tell me of the extension, I put on a good face for him, but I just wanted to scream and howl! He should have heard me 11 timezones away; a sound that no wounded animal could make, a sound that I did not recognize coming from me and a sound that I would soon become familiar with. My heart was fragile already and with this news it nearly broke into a million pieces. If only I knew what another phone call would reveal in 6 weeks. If only I knew what a broken heart really felt like.

During the 384 days that Ken served in Iraq, we frequently talked about conditions, the mental status of Ken and his guys. I told him that they could do anything for a finite period of time; as long as they knew the end date. What could I say when we found out he would have to be there for 120 more days when they had already turned in their weapons, only to have them reissued? What could I say when I knew they had sent their personal possessions home and were literally counting the days in single digits to marching out of Baghdad? How could the Army keep moving that date, the day that they all lived for, focused on getting the hell out of Iraq and coming home? And how could they extend the date when all of the soldiers of 2-37 had survived that year in hell? Calculating the luck to time ratio was not spoken, but I did it and I'm sure Ken did, too. But, Ken explained, they had not completed their mission and when they did, they would come home. Ken apparently completed his mission on 5.30.04 when he was killed in Najaf and that's how he was able to come home.

This extension is get another way to use and abuse the troops and their families. The new speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi said, "The Bush Administration has failed to create a plan to fully equip and train our troops, bring them home safely and soon, and provide our veterans with the quality care they deserve," "Extending the tours of all active-duty Army personnel is an unacceptable price for our troops and their families to pay."

Hey George, who supports the troops?

Friday, April 13, 2007

My bad!

My bad- We deleted 5 million emails even though it is against Federal law.

The White House email policy reads "Federal law requires the preservation of electronic communications sent or received by White House staff," All staffers are given the handbook and are expected to read and comply with these policies.

Dana Perino, the Valley Girl who's filling in as the White House spokesperson told reporters that the e-mails from those accounts should have been saved, but said policy has not kept pace with technology. She said computer experts were trying to retrieve any records that have been deleted. "We screwed up, and we're trying to fix it," she told reporters. Ya think?

And don't think this is destruction of electronic communications is news to members of this administration. Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, recently wrote a letter to Jack Fitzgerald, the special investigator into the Valerie Plame leak saying, "It looks like Karl Rove may well have destroyed evidence that implicated him in the White House's orchestrated efforts to leak Valerie Plame Wilson's covert identity to the press in retaliation against her husband, former Ambassador Joseph Wilson," Sloan said. "Special Counsel Fitzgerald should immediately reopen his investigation into whether Rove took part in the leak, as well as whether he obstructed justice in the ensuing leak investigation." I think this is called a pattern.

My bad- I called the women of the Rutgers basketball team "nappy headed ho's".

Don Imus offered a seemingly heartfelt apology for his comments and said "I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person, but I said a bad thing". But this isn't the first time he "misspoke" and how many times do we have let racism be brushed off as humor?

My bad- John McCain said, "General Petraeus goes out there (into Baghdad) almost every day in an unarmed Humvee." and "There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today."

Was it really that safe? When questioned why his stroll through the Baghdad market required wearing body armor, dozens of armed US soldiers and snipers plus Apache helicopters flying overhead, "Of course I'm going to misspeak and I've done it on numerous occasions and I probably will do in the future. I regret that when I divert attention to something that I've said from my message but you know that's just life, and I'm happy frankly with the way I operate, otherwise it would be a lot less fun," McCain said. Sounds a little too much like something the 43rd president would say and who wants 4 more years of that?

McCain and his fellow shoppers used the US military as a backdrop to their little adventure to show how well things are going in Iraq. How little they think of the troops who were put at unnecessary risk as the photo op took place so that a video postcard could be sent to the folks back at home telling them how well things are progressing in Iraq. wink, wink

It's been a bad week! Why is it when something incredibly stupid is said, some people think the acceptable response is "my bad". Where is the personal responsibility and integrity? Where is the civilized tone? We deserve better than this and we should continue to demand it.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Oh no he didn't!

Senator Barack Obama told the Associated Press in an interview on Sunday that if President Bush vetoes an Iraq war spending bill as promised, Congress quickly will provide the money without the withdrawal timeline the White House objects to because no lawmaker "wants to play chicken with our troops,"

Say it ain't so! Obama is trying to show that he is different than Hillary Clinton when it comes to the war in Iraq. Hilary says she would end the war if elected and won't apologize for her vote to attack Iraq back in 2002. She said she understands the the frustration and outrage people are feeling about the lack of progress in Congress to end this war. Obama says that he was against the Iraq invasion from the beginning.

It seems to me that both of them have given up on bringing the troops home during the next 2 years until one of them gets into the White House.

I understand there is a narrowly divided Senate. I understand when both the House and the Senate say the resolutions they put forward were the best they could do, although I don't agree. It is not time to throw their hands up and say "My bad, I'll end it when I am president". It is not time to abandon the troops and support them by letting them sit in this undefined mission until *they* get elected as president.

With 9 months until the first primary in 2008, I am already tired of the campaign for president. I am tired of the campaign overshadowing the issues the took them to Washington. And I am really tired of them asking me for money. They aren't doing what I asked; *they* are not bringing the troops home. Why would I send them back to DC again for the next term if they didn't do the job I sent them there to do in the first place. If Obama & Clinton, especially, are courting the American people for their vote, they need to listen to the people. If this is the best leadership that the Democrats can offer this country, then we are in sad shape.

Leadership is setting the record straight and making sure people know that the appropriations money that remains from the last supplemental will last into July and will not undermine U.S. troops and the war in Iraq if it did not approve approximately $100 billion within weeks.

According to a Congressional Research Service memo dated March 28 and sent to the Senate Budget Committee, "The Army could finance the O&M (operations and maintenance) of both its baseline and war program ... through most of July 2007" by shifting around money in existing accounts.

Leadership is making it very clear to George Bush that he is the one that is undermining the US troops. Leadership is standing up to the president and letting him know that he is no longer the "decider" and that Congress holds the purse strings now and they will use them. Leadership is letting the president know that the he and his warmongering cronies *will* be held accountable of the mismanagement of this war, because this Congress will hold them accountable. Leadership is telling the 43rd president of these United States NO. No more troops, no more money.

Another presidential hopeful, John Edwards said "Silence is a betrayal" "It is a betrayal not to stop this president's plan to escalate the war when we have the responsibility, the power and the ability to stop it. We cannot be satisfied with passing nonbinding resolutions that we know this president will ignore."

We can do better for the troops. Obama is ceding his responsibility as a member of the US Senate when he says no one "wants to play chicken with our troops," Of course no one does, but by giving unnecessary and continuing power to the president, Obama is turning his back on the troops and buying in to the presidents false claims just as Karl Rove planned. How dare he?

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Priorities

On Monday, the military will release the results of the 5th investigation into the death of Army Ranger Pat Tillman. They will also reveal the results of a related investigation Army Criminal Investigation Command.

Also on Monday, the results of the autopsy of Anna Nicole Smith will be released.

If I was a betting woman, and I am; I would bet that the lead story on the Monday evening news will be Anna Nicole Smith.

wanna bet?

Friday, March 23, 2007

Missteps & Oversights

On Monday, the Army will release the results of the 5th investigation into the circumstances of death of Cpl Pat Tillman. Although it took the Army 5 weeks to reveal that they knew Pat's death was caused by "friendly fire"; we now know the Army knew the truth from the beginning.

Until now, the Army has punished seven people for the Tillman killing, but no one was court-martialed. Four soldiers received relatively minor punishments under military law, ranging from written reprimands to expulsion from the Rangers. One had his pay reduced and was effectively forced out of the Army.

A Pentagon investigation will recommend that nine officers, including up to four generals, be held accountable for missteps in the aftermath of the friendly fire death of Army Ranger Pat Tillman in Afghanistan, senior defense officials said Friday. Missteps? How about incompetence? How about collusion?

The Defense Department inspector general will cite a range of errors and inappropriate conduct as the military probed the former football star's death on the battlefront in 2004. Pat's dead and they call the conduct "inappropriate"?

It appears the inspector general will not conclude there was an orchestrated cover-up in the investigation. There probably wasn't a Pat Tillman plan in case he was killed; we'll do this. But an orchestrated cover-up? Of course there was. I'm pretty sure there was plenty of "We're screwed" and WTF? and "No one must know" kinds of conversations. Pat's brother. Kevin, was nearby when Pat was killed and he wasn't told the truth either, so we know the cover up started immediately. The soldiers involved burned and destroyed Pat's uniform; they said it was a biohazard. Since when did evidence become a biohazard unless you are hiding something. Might it have been because an analysis of the body armor would reveal who shot Pat Tillman?

The Tillman family was notified last week that the report would be released to the public on March 26, but the family could review it ahead of time IF they promised not to say anything until Monday. With the way the Tillman family has been treated, I would have had the fax machine on speed dial ready to send the report to my favorite media contacts. Respect during these investigations seems to go only one way and the families deserve better. The officials who leaked the story today requested anonymity because the Army has not publicly released the information. That anonymous source didn't give any thoughts to the family.

Having walked in the "Delayed truth" shoes, I can tell you that I was lucky that the Army pretty much showed up on doorstep 15 months after my son, Lt Ken Ballard, was killed in Iraq, and told me the truth about how my son died. They called it an "oversight", I called it incompetence. I had no inkling that what they told me when he was killed was not true; I had accepted the truth. Because the media didn't know ahead of time, there was no feeding frenzy to talk to me until after the news had been released. Once the news of the Army's oversight was released, everything changed. Reporters invited themselves to the next meeting with the Army; I refused them. Reporters called me and stopped by incessantly.

My friend, Nadia McCaffrey, mother of Sgt Patrick McCaffrey, was told the truth 2 years after Patrick was killed that he was not killed in an ambush as the family had been told; he was murdered by Iraqi soldiers that the Americans were training. Nadia knew that the Army was going to give her very bad news when they called to schedule a meeting at her house; she had spoken to some of soldiers in Patrick's unit. Another anonymous source leaked the news 2 days prior to the meeting and her life was hell dealing with the media for those next 2 days before her meeting.

Most people have a voyeuristic curiosity about the details of the inquiry and the death; the who, when, who knew, what time details. Most people are outraged that it took so long for the truth to be revealed. Some people are outraged that the families want to know the truth and those people can just shut their mouths and sit down. None of us could predict how we would react, what we would do if we got that knock on the door; you wake up the next morning and try to figure out what your new life means. As the headlines announce the new findings, people must know and they must remember that we mother's are hearing details of the last minutes of our son's life. Some of us have seen autopsy photographs with every, single bullet wound; I was told my son's last words. We have to find the balance of processing the technical and analytical details, and at the same time, wonder about the fear and terror our son's faced in those last minutes of their precious lives.

So 3 years after Pat's death, the Army will gather the family and tell them the results of their inquiry again. It's taken too many months with too many players involved to believe that the whole truth will ever come out. A family just wants to know the truth at the soonest possible time and 3 years isn't the soonest time.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

4 years for what?

It is unbelievable that our young men and women have been fighting for 4 years in Iraq. As the sun rises this morning we see the start of the 5th year of George Bush's occupation in Iraq. This morning, 5 families are waking up to what they think is their normal life. They will make coffee and go through their mental to-do list, and they don't know how one knock on their door will change their lives forever. These 5 families don't know that when they open the door, they will be faced with someone in official military dress. Their loved ones are dead and they are never coming home.

The president begs us for patience and gave a stark warning against the temptation “to pack up and go home.” George Bush just wants a do-over because 4 years of fighting and killing has not gotten him that victory that he promised and he will stop at nothing until he gets it. The problem is, his definition of victory is not clear. He wants to stay the deadly course. Of course he didn't use that phrase because it's been replaced by the newer and more hip term, "surge" It's all the same.

Tony Snow, the mouthpiece for the White House says It would also force failure of the mission in Iraq and forfeit the sacrifices made by our troops.”

A CNN poll shows that 35 percent of Americans are confident about the war. When the war began, 83 percent of Americans expressed confidence in the invasion. The Iraqi people are seeing hope slip away and see conditions worse for availability of electricity, jobs, medical care, security as compared to 2005.

And I am just weary. Ken's gone and he's never coming home. When I lost only child Iraq in May 2004, I lost my future. 3218 US soldiers have been sacrificed in George's folly.

Tony Snow or anyone else should not tell us "The sacrifice of our troops would have been for nothing if we don't continue this war". How can anyone possibly think that one more dead soldier would get us closer to that elusive “victory”? Every day you neglect to end this war you are also condemning 3 more US troops to death. My son and the 3200+ other troops whose lives were sacrificed and wasted by George Bush will be best honored by a nation and a Congress with the courage to end this war. I urge you to have the same courage that my son and his fellow troops exhibited when their Commander in Chief gave orders to invade Iraq. You must have the courage to stand up to that same Commander in Chief and say NO escalation, NO more troops, NO more funding for this hideous war.

Members of Congress can stop saying that they "voted against the war". That is no longer enough. That vote was more than 4 years ago; what have they done for the troops lately?

With the right leadership, the US can stop the occupation in Iraq, improve education and health care for all of us including returning veterans, really do something about improving the environment and even regain our world standing. Is the 110th Congress up to this challenge? We will see.

Let's just get the hell out of Iraq, bring the troops home and take very good care of them when they get here.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Iraq Veterans Memorial

We are proud and honored to present to you the Iraq Veterans Memorial.

This memorial was conceived as a place to honor the servicemembers who lost their lives over the past four years during the Iraq War. By watching the videos, you will have the opportunity to learn about these heroes from those who knew them best -- their family, friends, and fellow servicemembers. Each man and woman represented in the memorial had attributes and qualities that made them unique, but they all have one thing in common - they were truly loved and are deeply missed.

http://www.iraqmemorial.org/

Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Army is ordering injured troops to go to Iraq

If you are a parent, you have probably had this kind of conversation when you knew your child had done something wrong and they just weren't ready to admit it. "If you don't tell me everything NOW, it will only get worse".

George Bush is that recalcitrant child and he's not telling us anything. No one should be surprised by this. This administration doesn't know how to tell the truth and further, since George Bush told us he is the decider (of what we should know, how we should act and so on) it's apparent that he thinks we don't need to know anything.

Bush loyalists will have to throw their cards in one day and come to the side of full disclosure. At this point, I'd ask for half disclosure because even if you only look at the egregious behavior of the Bush administration in the past 30 days, you'd have to wonder what other stories we don't know about. The thing that surprises me is that the president doesn't seem to understand the magnitude and the effects that his administration has on this country and further the effects on troops that he supposedly supports.

The desolate conditions and treatment of patients/troops at Walter Reed and other VA hospitals; the revelation that the FBI has been violating the Patriot Act right an left; discussion of a pardon for Irving Scooter Libby after being found guilty of 4, count 'em, FOUR felonies related to lying to a grand jury. I could go on, but it's been a busy week for bad news and I don't think I can take anymore.

Salon.com reports The Army is ordering injured troops to go to Iraq. This shouldn't be a surprise with the increased number of troops required to fill the surge of troops being sent to Iraq for added security. Let me add that these troops are from the 3rd Infantry Division out of Ft Benning, GA many of whom are heading to Iraq for the 3rd deployment to hell. It's no wonder many of them have injuries whose doctors have classified them as "unfit for battle". Many of these soldiers are medically restricted to lifting less than 15 pounds or wearing their helmet for less than one hour. I think this is part of Rumsfeld's "you go to war with the Army you've got" policy. These soldiers needn't worry about getting the medical care they need when we finally get them out of there; I'm betting there will be only cosmetic changes to the conditions that we know about at Walter Reed even after the commission makes it's recommendations.

With everything else that has happened under the watch of this administration, I am certain of this, things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Waking up Los Gatos

Los Gatos, CA is a relatively small town in the South Bay part of the San Francisco Bay Area. Population about 28,000, with an median income of $94,ooo. Average age? about 41. 83.3% of the folks in this little burb are white.

I tell you this because Mike, one of the members of Mountain View Voices for Peace (we're up the road about 20 miles) thought that we should take a walk down Santa Cruz Avenue, the main drag in Los Gatos this evening with signs for impeachment and for ending the war in uraq. Tien, of course, had his "Mend your Fuelish Ways" sign, too. Close your eyes and think about the street in your town with all the cute$t and coole$t boutiques. Don't forget the fully stocked Lamboroghini dealership on the corner. Yeah, it's that kind of street in that kind of town.

Los Gatos has not been a hotbed of protest about this war and I was afraid that that we would find that no one from this part of the Bay area even knew that the good old U of S A was involved in a war over there in Iraq. They have not suffered any casualties, so I wondered if they had been touched by this 4 year old war.

There is good news and bad news. While we found the town to be a little sleepy, especially for a Saturday night, we were able to raise some voices and garner some reactions to our signs demanding IMPEACH & OUT OF IRAQ. The reactions were mostly positive, but Los Gatos, I have to tell you that you have a couple of real mean eggs in your town. A middle aged woman was strolling down the street chatting with her friend. She couldn't miss us, all 11 of us, as she approached. With the closest thing to a Snidely Whiplash sneer, she suggested that we all be put in jail and then that we should GET A LIFE! I told her that I would like my son's life back and she told me WHO CARES? Our people were surprised, perhaps horrifed at what she said to me. Her son was killed in Iraq, they told her. WHO CARES? she repeated. Who cares, indeed? It's really kind of sad.

We decided to walk over to the overpass over Highway 17/880 to assess the situation. YES!! The road was filled with vehicles with people returning from a great sunny day at the beach over the hill in Santa Cruz. Heavy traffic was at a slow crawl when we hoisted our signs. The honking began immediately! What a great reaction! Full disclosure, there were a few people who didn't like our signs, but overwhelminglly they were in support of Impeachment and ending the war.

Trip summary? Yeah, it was a good evening. We got our point across and made people in Los Gatos realize that they aren't alone in their disatisfaction towards this president and his war and that it is okay to raise your voice.

We think we're on to something. What town nearby needs a wake up call? Los Altos, we're on the way! Campbell? you're on the list, too.

Note to readers: Proper etiquette when one passes by a demonstration or protest that you agree with would be to HONK and honk wildly in support of the cause. Don't be shy! Roll down your window and flash a Peace sign! Your honks energize the marchers and makes us feel one with you and we appreciate it!

Friday, March 09, 2007

Iraq War Veteran's Memorial Trailer




A place to come together to honor the US serviceman and woman
who have lost their lives.

Through the voics of their family and friends.
We remember those who have fallen.

Unveiling the Iraq Veteran's Memorial in this space on March 17, 2007.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Florence Nightingale's Winter update

This is part of an ongoing series of updates from the military hospital in the Green Zone of Baghdad. Our Florence Nightingale is halfway through her year long deployment. This is an intimate perspective of the war that we don't necessarily hear.
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Hello Everyone!

It has been a long time since I last wrote and many of you have sent along messages checking in to make sure that I was okay. Thank you so much for caring. I am doing okay. I have been having trouble finding restful sleep and am usually very over tired. The months of January and February have been extremely busy as well. I have also come to a point where I am having a difficult time taking care of my patients and the demands of this deployment. You don't realize how much a deployment like this can take out of you until you are knee deep and trudging through the muck. I am almost at the half way point and looking forward to leave. I am hoping to become refreshed and refocused after leave so that I can finish this final sprint to deployment end.

I experienced many new things these last two months. First, I "coded" my first American patient. By "coded," I mean that I had to do CPR and give medications to try and save his life. It was a sad case. The patient was an American contractor and only 30 years old. He suffered from a massive heart attack and was transferred to us after he was found unresponsive on the scene. The pieces to the puzzle were a bit confusing to put together, but essentially this patient was admitted to my ICU and a fellow co worker and I were the nurses caring for him. He came up intubated/vented and we began our normal routine admission procedures. Soon enough things started to turn around. We noticed some EKG changes (electrical changes in the heart) and we got a 12 lead EKG to get a better picture of what was going on. He was having another heart attack. Our doc started the normal protocol for our heart attack/chest pain patients. I actually had many firsts on this day. I gave TKnase, a medication given to bust up clots. I have never given this medication before and there are so many precautions you want to be aware of. It is weight based and can cause massive bleeding because it is able to bust up any clots in your system as well as make your blood extremely slippery and prone to bleeding. We gave him the typical ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support) medications as well during the times when his heart rate dropped and his blood pressure became nonexistent. He was a complex case. There were multiple doctors coming up to see him. Our cardiologist did an echo (ultrasound of the heart to evaluate the valves and blood flow through the heart as well as possibly identify the area causing the heart attack). We had our vascular doc come and evaluate his leg because an IO(bone) needle was placed and his leg below the needle was blue and pulseless. It was one thing after another. I was so glad that both Tammy and I were working on this patient. We had to start CPR eventually. We were doing chest compression's and I was giving medications through the available IV lines. He started bleeding from every place he had an IV and started to bruise all over his body from the clot busting medication I had given. We ended up doing 2 rounds of CPR and was not able to save him. We tried everything. It was so upsetting. We got him back after that first round but we couldn't getting him stabilized and he crashed again. It was a code type situation for like 4 hours. It only seemed like minutes while we were going through it though. You are so busy and focused on assessing the patient and giving meds and CPR and reevaluating for the next planned intervention that time flies by without you even blinking to notice.

I got to experience the American morgue for the first time that day. Usually we put the Iraqi deceased in a very large refrigerated container. It really looks just like a very large box like one of those storage pods but larger. It is also refrigerated and the patients are stacked 3 on each side. Nothing fancy just the basics. The American morgue however is just the opposite and rightly so. It is in a building and there are long "trays" that pull out where you place the person. They are 3 people across. There is no stacking here. It has an illuminated American flag framed in glass and a poem on the wall paying tribute to the sacrifices of the American soldier. I had to hold back the tears as I entered this room. I was amazed and stunned. I was touched that at least the American Heroes were placed into a room that held an air of the utmost respect. It was a humbling experience.

Unfortunately I was hoping that this would be the only American that I would have to put here. If only that were true because a few days later an American soldier was placed here. He was admitted to the ICU and had a lethal gun shot wound to the head. This posed a serious ethical dilemma on the floor for many of us. We were fortunate enough to have a visiting neurosurgeon at the CSH when this soldier came in. He made the determination that he was not going to operate on this man because he essentially would have no quality of life ever again. He would not be able to speak or comprehend words/speech or conduct any of his basic needs. He would be a vegetable as most people would call it. It was a most difficult decision for the doctor to make and then when the soldier arrived on the floor and I was assigned to him I was tortured by the principle of sitting back and easing this man, this Hero into death. I have taken care of many dying patients in my career, but not like this. This was completely new. I was here in Iraq and I was taking care of my brother in arms, but I wasn't taking care of him and fighting for his life. I was making his remaining moments more comfortable. I also had to face his unit. I had to tell them what had happened and the damage that was done. The doctor of course also explained everything to them and conferred with them to ensure that they agreed to his decision to withdraw care.

The doctor made this decision and his wife later agreed to the course of action that was taken. It posed many questions among the soldiers on the unit that day. There was discussion amongst the doctors and nurses to help understand why we weren't doing everything in our power to save this soldier. Being a medical professional can be a difficult place to be sometimes in a situation like this. For example I can understand the doctors point in that the soldier would have no quality of life and that he would be potentially in a coma for the rest of his living years. On the other hand I have seen the other side where heroic measures have been performed to save a soldiers life. I have taken care of the brain injured and wounded of this war back at Walter Reed. Yes, these soldiers lives are irreversibly changed forever and they can become burdensome to their family, but how do you decide which is the better outcome. Is it better to have your loved one die in combat or from wounds in combat or be saved to potentially die later from complications of injuries or live a life with more challenges than ever dreamed? It is a tough call to make. I still don't know how I feel about the whole situation.

My deputy chief of nursing came up to speak with my battle buddy and I about the situation and to get our thoughts. She said that she could see in our faces that the situation had hit a nerve and wanted to be assured that we were okay and coping with what had happened with this soldier. It was nice that someone in our chain of command took notice and allowed us to verbalize our feeling without repercussion.

As I mentioned before the months passed were very busy. We were lucky in not seeing many wounded soldiers but many host nation civilians, Iraqi Police and Iraqi Army. The bombings seem to have picked up and there are more and more everyday. I just don't understand how the people of this country think. I wonder if the people setting up these IEDs and VBIEDs or even the suicide bombers realize that they are killing their own people. It is just so sad that a child cannot play with their sibling in their back yard without fear of being blown up. A family or an individual cannot go to the market place without the potential threat staring them in the face. I cannot tell you the numbers of children that I have cared for and those cared for by the other ICU and the wards that are changed forever. Their subtle innocence is gone. They are wounded by not only their injuries but in their spirit. Yes, there is medical care here in this country but it is nothing like the United States. There are now children without parents and siblings from the effects of this war. There are people who will never be the same again because of their injuries. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
I have also been experiencing what has been termed compassion fatigue. The research team has been looking at the effects of seeing trauma everyday on the medical professional providing care to these individuals and if their empathy/simpathy is affected. The challenges that I face everyday includes trying to overcome communication and language barriers as well as cultural constraints. If there is a female patient, we need to try and pair her up with a female nurse. You need to ensure that she is covered and not exposed for people to see. This isn't as easy as it may sound when your staffing is limited. The other part is that some of these people act like you should be at their beckon call. It is in the culture that when a loved one is sick all their needs be tended to on a 24hr/7day a week basis. Now when you have only one patient that may be possible, but with the days we have had lately it is not an option. I had a patient banging on the side rails for my attention and demanding his pain medicine this instant. I knew this through the interpreter who I called to help me figure out what was wrong with my clearly agitated patient. Even after an explanation that pain medicine was given to him and that I cannot make his pain go away completely, he continued this behavior. You find yourself doing things that you would never do back home. I had the interpreter explain that his behavior was unacceptable and that if he continued he would not get anything form the nurse. I had her tell him that he would be given pain medicine at every opportunity that was available with in the restrictions of the doctors orders. I really just wanted to tell this man that he needed to stop acting like a child and chill out. Now I really couldn't say that since my Arabic can only get me so far. You tend to ignore the ones that treat you badly. You care for them, but when they are pinching/hitting you and disrespecting you at every moment the challenge to care for them is magnified.

I face situations like this often. It seems like the people here are never satisfied. You try to do the best for them with the best that you have and it's not enough. You start harboring some resentment. You think to yourself, "hey, I didn't shoot this guy or try to blow him; all I'm trying to do is take care of him and get him back home. Why is he behaving so badly toward me?"

You also find yourself comparing injuries. You look at the guy that has burns all over his body with limbs amputated and loose your compassion for the guy that had an open fracture of an extremity that was fixed surgically and screaming in pain. You think to yourself, "what are you complaining about it's just a broken arm and now it's fixed. Look at that guy over there with the burns and no legs." It is so difficult when you feel so under appreciated by those you care for. Granted nursing has always and probably will always be a thankless job. We are the worker bees. We tie all the loose ends together. We carry out the doctors orders and tell them when their patient isn't doing so well. We are by their side 24 hours a day, 7 day a week. We are there in their worst moments and sometimes their greatest triumphs. It is a job that I love to do, but can also be a trying job to continue to do.

It has been the months of new challenges and experiences. I'm sure there are many more to come. I am trying to find quiet moments to myself to reflect and find peace. I have learned so much in this deployment, not only about nursing but about myself. I am looking forward to my upcoming R&R and hope that it will help push me through the remaining months of my deployment.

I want to again thank you all for your continued support. I could not have made it this far without you. Please forgive me for not writing sooner and being lax with my communications these last two months. I have chosen extra moments of sleep and relaxation to help keep my mind in the game and focus on the mission I need to complete. I think of you more often than you know. I miss you all and look forward to seeing everyone soon.
Lots of love,

No Apology Necessary

Barack Obama said it a few weeks back "We ended up launching a war that should have never been authorized, and should never been waged, and on which we have now spent $400 billion, and have seen over 3,000 lives of the bravest young Americans wasted."

John McCain said it last night on The Late Show We wasted a lot of our most precious treasure, which is American lives over there." I heard him make that comment, but frankly, there was no blip on my radar.

Our bravest young Americans, our most precious treasure "wasted". How can you fault anyone and demand an apology when one is speaking truth? Obama apologized immediately, "It is not at all what I intended to say, and I would absolutely apologize if any (military families) felt that in some ways it had diminished the enormous courage and sacrifice that they'd shown." saying he was upset with himself for using that word. McCain backpedaled saying he regrets the comment, “I should have used the word, sacrificed, as I have in the past,”

I don't know why the Democratic National Committee is howling about McCain's use of the word. Is sacrifice a better word? According to dictionary.com sacrifice means Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim. Wasted means to be consumed, spent, or employed uselessly or without giving full value or being fully utilized or appreciated.

Using the apparently preferred word sacrifice implies that this hideous war has more value than the life of my son, Lt Ken Ballard and the 3164 casualties from Iraq and that his death was for the greater good. I disagree, as do many of the members of Gold Star Families Speak Out. And I think this media maelstrom is a bit overdone. When you have these kinds of disagreements about semantics; you are taking your eye off what really counts. And when you have these kinds of disagreements about simple words, you are buying into the Bush administration who is excellent at hiding the true cost of this war. They want us to believe that there is a better outcome ahead and that our loved ones lives were not wasted. But, these lives were wasted. Any life cut short is wasted, but a death because of this war is a huge waste to the family, friends, and this nation. This war will never have been a greater value than the lives of our loved ones.

I'd rather we work on the plan to get our troops out of Iraq, and how we can take good care of them when they get home. I'd rather worry about the condition of the Veteran's Administration as it related to the care given to our troops. I'd rather work on providing these soldiers on the ground in Iraq & Afghanistan with the proper training, and supplies that are necessary to keep them safe until we can get them home. There are so many other things to worry about. This argument is irrelevant.

And I really don't need or want an apology when someone is speaking the truth.