Saturday, February 24, 2007

Promises to Keep

I'm turning this over to John Cory today. John is a Viet Nam Vet.

Thanks to truthout.org for posting Promises to Keep

###

What the hell can you say? Veterans tossed aside like broken toys, discarded in the schoolyard of war. And everyone shouts, "This can't happen in America," when they should be shouting, "This can't happen in America - again!" There it is.
See, the dead are at peace, buried and gone. But the maimed wander the streets forever, reminding us of our sins. Support the troops over there so we don't have to support them over here.
That's the thing about survival; you've committed the ultimate sin and returned, dragging the dusty ghosts of war around your ankles and behind your eyes. Your lips taste of the cordite and sulfur and worse yet, you smell of need.
And now you're a stranger in a strange land. Everyone speaks a foreign language while your native tongue is Grunt. You speak security perimeters, RPGs and IEDs and how to "light 'em up." The System speaks bureaucrat, flinging form names and numbers that translate to deny, decline and delay. Counselors and "advisers" speak in acronym sentences that obfuscate and avoid. A grateful nation - sort of.
Then you wander into your previous life, where they speak of things that you have no clue about. Their language is familiar but alien at the same time. Lives have continued while yours was suspended somewhere between the duffle bag rag and death takes a holiday. They kept living forward while you spent ages every day living your life backward, remembering yesterday just to have a reason for making it into tomorrow.
A war veteran. That's what you are now. Don't mean nothin'. A pawn for politicians, a piece of your former self. Your songs are silent syllables and your dreams are closed doors without handles. Out there you rely on your Six, you trust the Point Man, and you know "Abilene" and "Racine Bob" have your back. But here - here, they shake your hand with a smile that measures you for out-of-sight shelf space. The discount rack. Your name, to be whispered when the children are not around. And you hear the phrases: "Oh, he hasn't been the same since he got back, just drifting and distant. Not the friendly guy he used to be. Not the same." Like a poor, crazy relative come to visit, to be tolerated until it's time to leave.
And still others want to know what it was like? Must have been hell, huh?
Hell? No. Hell is a dark room shared with rats and cockroaches while praying someone will come by and roll you over so you don't keep getting bedsores. Hell is counting the flakes of peeling paint on the wall just to kill time, to take your mind off the pain. Hell is paperwork in triplicate requiring proof that you did not intentionally run into that bullet in your spine but can provide the name and description of the alleged enemy who allegedly shot you. Hell, my friend, is hearing that your spouse and high-school-age kids working three and four part-time jobs make just enough money to disqualify you from financial aid, but not enough to make ends meet. There's a war on, you know. Budget cuts and tax breaks for the wealthy; that's what fuels the war effort. You act as though you've given an arm or a leg for your country. But if you do get disability pay - Buy Bonds! After taxes, of course.
Cowboy up, man! A little gunfire never hurt anybody.
They'll glue you like a hood ornament to the front of a parade float to raise money for politicians or make stirring pious patriotic speeches and then turn away with embarrassment while you gyrate and hobble and scootch into your wheelchair. They'll try to hide it, but you can see that look: it's pity, not patriotic pride. It's that "oh poor thing" blush while whispering thanks to the gods that it's you instead of them.
A war veteran. One night alone is too many, and a hundred nights alone is not enough. Try putting that into words that others can understand. Try explaining why the Fourth of July takes you back to Haifa Street or Vin Loc or the Ashau Valley or any of a thousand little villages in a thousand days of war. Offer up a tale of how the last explosion blew someone apart so powerfully that it embedded bone fragments through the metal roof of a truck. Then watch the reaction. Lost in translation, man. Watch the eyes go blank and hear the rush of rationalization, "It's over. Let it go and just get on with life. At least you're alive."
Don't you get it, Vet? You make them uncomfortable. You remind them their kin is safe and clean while they blow the trumpets of glorious war. You are the face, the name, the body offered up on this sacrilegious altar of lies and doom. You're the truth, the in-your-face reality of every falsehood uttered between their lips. You dared survive and now they must be held accountable. And all they can do is squirm.
Here's the deal, and it is simple.
Every Congressional office should be flooded with phone calls and email demanding not only an investigation, but also immediate funding and corrective action of the treatment of our veterans. Viewers should require every media outlet that has dedicated untold hours and resources to the Anna Nicole Smith story to cover the failure of this administration to prioritize the healing and medical support of our troops and the wounded and their families. ABC, so willing to air slanderous 9/11 material, should send their Extreme Makeover Teams to every VA hospital and regional center in the country to show their support of the American military and veterans. And every multinational corporation that has profited from the war, or will reap ludicrous benefits from tax cuts, should be inundated by consumers to donate time, money, and material to the very souls who have paid for their greedy lobbying. And every Democratic candidate must utilize each and every public appearance to speak out on behalf of veterans and push Congress to pass immediate legislative solutions. Surely the five-day workweek could be enforced long enough to take care of our most precious resource - our fellow American citizens, our friends and our family.
Veterans are not looking for anything special, just the decency of a promise kept. No one owes anything more or less. A promise kept - duty, honor, and country.

Let us plant gardens of stone
In this sandbox of war
And irrigate the furrows with tears.
Let us grind marrow to meal
Between bullets and pavement
And moisten the noonday soil with blood.
Let us whisper their names on the windT
hen watch them swirl like orphans
Blown by devils and dust.Let us speak in silence
Let us turn away
Never make us face them
Please just let us pray.
We've paid no price
But feel their pain
Now let us pray
Just to forget.
Oh no, my friend
Let us pray
For our souls
Shamed by our sins of omission.
It is they who have paid the price
With a pound of flesh
And a ton of pain
So go ahead and pray
Just pray
That you never forget.
Amen.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Soldiers Face Neglect, Frustration At Army's Top Medical Facility

This article should be on the front page of every newspaper in this country; it should be the lead story on every news broadcast (yes, you too, Fox News) and it should be mandatory reading for every person in this country.

I'll ask again, who is supporting the troops? Military Families Speak Out (MFSO) says "Bring them Home Now and Take Care of Them When They Get Here" According to this report we are doing a piss poor job of the latter.

Behind the door of Army Spec. Jeremy Duncan's room, part of the wall is torn and hangs in the air, weighted down with black mold. When the wounded combat engineer stands in his shower and looks up, he can see the bathtub on the floor above through a rotted hole. The entire building, constructed between the world wars, often smells like greasy carry-out. Signs of neglect are everywhere: mouse droppings, belly-up cockroaches, stained carpets, cheap mattresses.
This is the world of Building 18, not the kind of place where Duncan expected to recover when he was evacuated to Walter Reed Army Medical Center from Iraq last February with a broken neck and a shredded left ear, nearly dead from blood loss. But the old lodge, just outside the gates of the hospital and five miles up the road from the White House, has housed hundreds of maimed soldiers recuperating from injuries suffered in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The common perception of Walter Reed is of a surgical hospital that shines as the crown jewel of military medicine. But 5 1/2 years of sustained combat have transformed the venerable 113-acre institution into something else entirely -- a holding ground for physically and psychologically damaged outpatients. Almost 700 of them -- the majority soldiers, with some Marines -- have been released from hospital beds but still need treatment or are awaiting bureaucratic decisions before being discharged or returned to active duty.
They suffer from brain injuries, severed arms and legs, organ and back damage, and various degrees of post-traumatic stress. Their legions have grown so exponentially -- they outnumber hospital patients at Walter Reed 17 to 1 -- that they take up every available bed on post and spill into dozens of nearby hotels and apartments leased by the Army. The average stay is 10 months, but some have been stuck there for as long as two years.
Not all of the quarters are as bleak as Duncan's, but the despair of Building 18 symbolizes a larger problem in Walter Reed's treatment of the wounded, according to dozens of soldiers, family members, veterans aid groups, and current and former Walter Reed staff members interviewed by two Washington Post reporters, who spent more than four months visiting the outpatient world without the knowledge or permission of Walter Reed officials. Many agreed to be quoted by name; others said they feared Army retribution if they complained publicly.
While the hospital is a place of scrubbed-down order and daily miracles, with medical advances saving more soldiers than ever, the outpatients in the Other Walter Reed encounter a messy bureaucratic battlefield nearly as chaotic as the real battlefields they faced overseas.
On the worst days, soldiers say they feel like they are living a chapter of "Catch-22." The wounded manage other wounded. Soldiers dealing with psychological disorders of their own have been put in charge of others at risk of suicide.
Disengaged clerks, unqualified platoon sergeants and overworked case managers fumble with simple needs: feeding soldiers' families who are close to poverty, replacing a uniform ripped off by medics in the desert sand or helping a brain-damaged soldier remember his next appointment.
"We've done our duty. We fought the war. We came home wounded. Fine. But whoever the people are back here who are supposed to give us the easy transition should be doing it," said Marine Sgt. Ryan Groves, 26, an amputee who lived at Walter Reed for 16 months. "We don't know what to do. The people who are supposed to know don't have the answers. It's a nonstop process of stalling."
Soldiers, family members, volunteers and caregivers who have tried to fix the system say each mishap seems trivial by itself, but the cumulative effect wears down the spirits of the wounded and can stall their recovery.
"It creates resentment and disenfranchisement," said Joe Wilson, a clinical social worker at Walter Reed. "These soldiers will withdraw and stay in their rooms. They will actively avoid the very treatment and services that are meant to be helpful."
Danny Soto, a national service officer for Disabled American Veterans who helps dozens of wounded service members each week at Walter Reed, said soldiers "get awesome medical care and their lives are being saved," but, "Then they get into the administrative part of it and they are like, 'You saved me for what?' The soldiers feel like they are not getting proper respect. This leads to anger."
This world is invisible to outsiders. Walter Reed occasionally showcases the heroism of these wounded soldiers and emphasizes that all is well under the circumstances. President Bush, former defense secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and members of Congress have promised the best care during their regular visits to the hospital's spit-polished amputee unit, Ward 57.
"We owe them all we can give them," Bush said during his last visit, a few days before Christmas. "Not only for when they're in harm's way, but when they come home to help them adjust if they have wounds, or help them adjust after their time in service."
Along with the government promises, the American public, determined not to repeat the divisive Vietnam experience, has embraced the soldiers even as the war grows more controversial at home. Walter Reed is awash in the generosity of volunteers, businesses and celebrities who donate money, plane tickets, telephone cards and steak dinners.
Yet at a deeper level, the soldiers say they feel alone and frustrated. Seventy-five percent of the troops polled by Walter Reed last March said their experience was "stressful." Suicide attempts and unintentional overdoses from prescription drugs and alcohol, which is sold on post, are part of the narrative here.
Vera Heron spent 15 frustrating months living on post to help care for her son. "It just absolutely took forever to get anything done," Heron said. "They do the paperwork, they lose the paperwork. Then they have to redo the paperwork. You are talking about guys and girls whose lives are disrupted for the rest of their lives, and they don't put any priority on it."
Family members who speak only Spanish have had to rely on Salvadoran housekeepers, a Cuban bus driver, the Panamanian bartender and a Mexican floor cleaner for help. Walter Reed maintains a list of bilingual staffers, but they are rarely called on, according to soldiers and families and Walter Reed staff members.
Evis Morales's severely wounded son was transferred to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda for surgery shortly after she arrived at Walter Reed. She had checked into her government-paid room on post, but she slept in the lobby of the Bethesda hospital for two weeks because no one told her there is a free shuttle between the two facilities. "They just let me off the bus and said 'Bye-bye,' " recalled Morales, a Puerto Rico resident.
Morales found help after she ran out of money, when she called a hotline number and a Spanish-speaking operator happened to answer.
"If they can have Spanish-speaking recruits to convince my son to go into the Army, why can't they have Spanish-speaking translators when he's injured?" Morales asked. "It's so confusing, so disorienting."
Soldiers, wives, mothers, social workers and the heads of volunteer organizations have complained repeatedly to the military command about what one called "The Handbook No One Gets" that would explain life as an outpatient. Most soldiers polled in the March survey said they got their information from friends. Only 12 percent said any Army literature had been helpful.
"They've been behind from Day One," said Rep. Thomas M. Davis III (R-Va.), who headed the House Government Reform Committee, which investigated problems at Walter Reed and other Army facilities. "Even the stuff they've fixed has only been patched."
Among the public, Davis said, "there's vast appreciation for soldiers, but there's a lack of focus on what happens to them" when they return. "It's awful."
Maj. Gen. George W. Weightman, commander at Walter Reed, said in an interview last week that a major reason outpatients stay so long, a change from the days when injured soldiers were discharged as quickly as possible, is that the Army wants to be able to hang on to as many soldiers as it can, "because this is the first time this country has fought a war for so long with an all-volunteer force since the Revolution."
Acknowledging the problems with outpatient care, Weightman said Walter Reed has taken steps over the past year to improve conditions for the outpatient army, which at its peak in summer 2005 numbered nearly 900, not to mention the hundreds of family members who come to care for them. One platoon sergeant used to be in charge of 125 patients; now each one manages 30. Platoon sergeants with psychological problems are more carefully screened. And officials have increased the numbers of case managers and patient advocates to help with the complex disability benefit process, which Weightman called "one of the biggest sources of delay."
And to help steer the wounded and their families through the complicated bureaucracy, Weightman said, Walter Reed has recently begun holding twice-weekly informational meetings. "We felt we were pushing information out before, but the reality is, it was overwhelming," he said. "Is it fail-proof? No. But we've put more resources on it."
He said a 21,500-troop increase in Iraq has Walter Reed bracing for "potentially a lot more" casualties.Bureaucratic Battles
The best known of the Army's medical centers, Walter Reed opened in 1909 with 10 patients. It has treated the wounded from every war since, and nearly one of every four service members injured in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The outpatients are assigned to one of five buildings attached to the post, including Building 18, just across from the front gates on Georgia Avenue. To accommodate the overflow, some are sent to nearby hotels and apartments. Living conditions range from the disrepair of Building 18 to the relative elegance of Mologne House, a hotel that opened on the post in 1998, when the typical guest was a visiting family member or a retiree on vacation.
The Pentagon has announced plans to close Walter Reed by 2011, but that hasn't stopped the flow of casualties. Three times a week, school buses painted white and fitted with stretchers and blackened windows stream down Georgia Avenue. Sirens blaring, they deliver soldiers groggy from a pain-relief cocktail at the end of their long trip from Iraq via Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany and Andrews Air Force Base.
Staff Sgt. John Daniel Shannon, 43, came in on one of those buses in November 2004 and spent several weeks on the fifth floor of Walter Reed's hospital. His eye and skull were shattered by an AK-47 round. His odyssey in the Other Walter Reed has lasted more than two years, but it began when someone handed him a map of the grounds and told him to find his room across post.
A reconnaissance and land-navigation expert, Shannon was so disoriented that he couldn't even find north. Holding the map, he stumbled around outside the hospital, sliding against walls and trying to keep himself upright, he said. He asked anyone he found for directions.
Shannon had led the 2nd Infantry Division's Ghost Recon Platoon until he was felled in a gun battle in Ramadi. He liked the solitary work of a sniper; "Lone Wolf" was his call name. But he did not expect to be left alone by the Army after such serious surgery and a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. He had appointments during his first two weeks as an outpatient, then nothing.
"I thought, 'Shouldn't they contact me?' " he said. "I didn't understand the paperwork. I'd start calling phone numbers, asking if I had appointments. I finally ran across someone who said: 'I'm your case manager. Where have you been?'
"Well, I've been here! Jeez Louise, people, I'm your hospital patient!"
Like Shannon, many soldiers with impaired memory from brain injuries sat for weeks with no appointments and no help from the staff to arrange them. Many disappeared even longer. Some simply left for home.
One outpatient, a 57-year-old staff sergeant who had a heart attack in Afghanistan, was given 200 rooms to supervise at the end of 2005. He quickly discovered that some outpatients had left the post months earlier and would check in by phone. "We called them 'call-in patients,' " said Staff Sgt. Mike McCauley, whose dormant PTSD from Vietnam was triggered by what he saw on the job: so many young and wounded, and three bodies being carried from the hospital.
Life beyond the hospital bed is a frustrating mountain of paperwork. The typical soldier is required to file 22 documents with eight different commands -- most of them off-post -- to enter and exit the medical processing world, according to government investigators. Sixteen different information systems are used to process the forms, but few of them can communicate with one another. The Army's three personnel databases cannot read each other's files and can't interact with the separate pay system or the medical recordkeeping databases.
The disappearance of necessary forms and records is the most common reason soldiers languish at Walter Reed longer than they should, according to soldiers, family members and staffers. Sometimes the Army has no record that a soldier even served in Iraq. A combat medic who did three tours had to bring in letters and photos of herself in Iraq to show she that had been there, after a clerk couldn't find a record of her service.
Shannon, who wears an eye patch and a visible skull implant, said he had to prove he had served in Iraq when he tried to get a free uniform to replace the bloody one left behind on a medic's stretcher. When he finally tracked down the supply clerk, he discovered the problem: His name was mistakenly left off the "GWOT list" -- the list of "Global War on Terrorism" patients with priority funding from the Defense Department.
He brought his Purple Heart to the clerk to prove he was in Iraq.
Lost paperwork for new uniforms has forced some soldiers to attend their own Purple Heart ceremonies and the official birthday party for the Army in gym clothes, only to be chewed out by superiors.
The Army has tried to re-create the organization of a typical military unit at Walter Reed. Soldiers are assigned to one of two companies while they are outpatients -- the Medical Holding Company (Medhold) for active-duty soldiers and the Medical Holdover Company for Reserve and National Guard soldiers. The companies are broken into platoons that are led by platoon sergeants, the Army equivalent of a parent.
Under normal circumstances, good sergeants know everything about the soldiers under their charge: vices and talents, moods and bad habits, even family stresses.
At Walter Reed, however, outpatients have been drafted to serve as platoon sergeants and have struggled with their responsibilities. Sgt. David Thomas, a 42-year-old amputee with the Tennessee National Guard, said his platoon sergeant couldn't remember his name. "We wondered if he had mental problems," Thomas said. "Sometimes I'd wear my leg, other times I'd take my wheelchair. He would think I was a different person. We thought, 'My God, has this man lost it?' "
Civilian care coordinators and case managers are supposed to track injured soldiers and help them with appointments, but government investigators and soldiers complain that they are poorly trained and often do not understand the system.
One amputee, a senior enlisted man who asked not to be identified because he is back on active duty, said he received orders to report to a base in Germany as he sat drooling in his wheelchair in a haze of medication. "I went to Medhold many times in my wheelchair to fix it, but no one there could help me," he said.
Finally, his wife met an aide to then-Deputy Defense Secretary Paul D. Wolfowitz, who got the erroneous paperwork corrected with one phone call. When the aide called with the news, he told the soldier, "They don't even know you exist."
"They didn't know who I was or where I was," the soldier said. "And I was in contact with my platoon sergeant every day."
The lack of accountability weighed on Shannon. He hated the isolation of the younger troops. The Army's failure to account for them each day wore on him. When a 19-year-old soldier down the hall died, Shannon knew he had to take action.
The soldier, Cpl. Jeremy Harper, returned from Iraq with PTSD after seeing three buddies die. He kept his room dark, refused his combat medals and always seemed heavily medicated, said people who knew him. According to his mother, Harper was drunkenly wandering the lobby of the Mologne House on New Year's Eve 2004, looking for a ride home to West Virginia. The next morning he was found dead in his room. An autopsy showed alcohol poisoning, she said.
"I can't understand how they could have let kids under the age of 21 have liquor," said Victoria Harper, crying. "He was supposed to be right there at Walter Reed hospital. . . . I feel that they didn't take care of him or watch him as close as they should have."
The Army posthumously awarded Harper a Bronze Star for his actions in Iraq.
Shannon viewed Harper's death as symptomatic of a larger tragedy -- the Army had broken its covenant with its troops. "Somebody didn't take care of him," he would later say. "It makes me want to cry. "
Shannon and another soldier decided to keep tabs on the brain injury ward. "I'm a staff sergeant in the U.S. Army, and I take care of people," he said. The two soldiers walked the ward every day with a list of names. If a name dropped off the large white board at the nurses' station, Shannon would hound the nurses to check their files and figure out where the soldier had gone.
Sometimes the patients had been transferred to another hospital. If they had been released to one of the residences on post, Shannon and his buddy would pester the front desk managers to make sure the new charges were indeed there. "But two out of 10, when I asked where they were, they'd just say, 'They're gone,' " Shannon said.
Even after Weightman and his commanders instituted new measures to keep better track of soldiers, two young men left post one night in November and died in a high-speed car crash in Virginia. The driver was supposed to be restricted to Walter Reed because he had tested positive for illegal drugs, Weightman said.
Part of the tension at Walter Reed comes from a setting that is both military and medical. Marine Sgt. Ryan Groves, the squad leader who lost one leg and the use of his other in a grenade attack, said his recovery was made more difficult by a Marine liaison officer who had never seen combat but dogged him about having his mother in his room on post. The rules allowed her to be there, but the officer said she was taking up valuable bed space.
"When you join the Marine Corps, they tell you, you can forget about your mama. 'You have no mama. We are your mama,' " Groves said. "That training works in combat. It doesn't work when you are wounded."Frustration at Every Turn
The frustrations of an outpatient's day begin before dawn. On a dark, rain-soaked morning this winter, Sgt. Archie Benware, 53, hobbled over to his National Guard platoon office at Walter Reed. Benware had done two tours in Iraq. His head had been crushed between two 2,100-pound concrete barriers in Ramadi, and now it was dented like a tin can. His legs were stiff from knee surgery. But here he was, trying to take care of business.
At the platoon office, he scanned the white board on the wall. Six soldiers were listed as AWOL. The platoon sergeant was nowhere to be found, leaving several soldiers stranded with their requests.
Benware walked around the corner to arrange a dental appointment -- his teeth were knocked out in the accident. He was told by a case manager that another case worker, not his doctor, would have to approve the procedure.
"Goddamn it, that's unbelievable!" snapped his wife, Barb, who accompanied him because he can no longer remember all of his appointments.
Not as unbelievable as the time he received a manila envelope containing the gynecological report of a young female soldier.
Next came 7 a.m. formation, one way Walter Reed tries to keep track of hundreds of wounded. Formation is also held to maintain some discipline. Soldiers limp to the old Red Cross building in rain, ice and snow. Army regulations say they can't use umbrellas, even here. A triple amputee has mastered the art of putting on his uniform by himself and rolling in just in time. Others are so gorked out on pills that they seem on the verge of nodding off.
"Fall in!" a platoon sergeant shouted at Friday formation. The noisy room of soldiers turned silent.
An Army chaplain opened with a verse from the Bible. "Why are we here?" she asked. She talked about heroes and service to country. "We were injured in many ways."
Someone announced free tickets to hockey games, a Ravens game, a movie screening, a dinner at McCormick and Schmick's, all compliments of local businesses.
Every formation includes a safety briefing. Usually it is a warning about mixing alcohol with meds, or driving too fast, or domestic abuse. "Do not beat your spouse or children. Do not let your spouse or children beat you," a sergeant said, to laughter. This morning's briefing included a warning about black ice, a particular menace to the amputees.
Dress warm, the sergeant said. "I see some guys rolling around in their wheelchairs in 30 degrees in T-shirts."
Soldiers hate formation for its petty condescension. They gutted out a year in the desert, and now they are being treated like children.
"I'm trying to think outside the box here, maybe moving formation to Wagner Gym," the commander said, addressing concerns that formation was too far from soldiers' quarters in the cold weather. "But guess what? Those are nice wood floors. They have to be covered by a tarp. There's a tarp that's got to be rolled out over the wooden floors. Then it has to be cleaned, with 400 soldiers stepping all over it. Then it's got to be rolled up."
"Now, who thinks Wagner Gym is a good idea?"
Explaining this strange world to family members is not easy. At an orientation for new arrivals, a staff sergeant walked them through the idiosyncrasies of Army financing. He said one relative could receive a 15-day advance on the $64 per diem either in cash or as an electronic transfer: "I highly recommend that you take the cash," he said. "There's no guarantee the transfer will get to your bank." The audience yawned.
Actually, he went on, relatives can collect only 80 percent of this advance, which comes to $51.20 a day. "The cashier has no change, so we drop to $50. We give you the rest" -- the $1.20 a day -- "when you leave."
The crowd was anxious, exhausted. A child crawled on the floor. The sergeant plowed on. "You need to figure out how long your loved one is going to be an inpatient," he said, something even the doctors can't accurately predict from day to day. "Because if you sign up for the lodging advance," which is $150 a day, "and they get out the next day, you owe the government the advance back of $150 a day."
A case manager took the floor to remind everyone that soldiers are required to be in uniform most of the time, though some of the wounded are amputees or their legs are pinned together by bulky braces. "We have break-away clothing with Velcro!" she announced with a smile. "Welcome to Walter Reed!"A Bleak Life in Building 18
"Building 18! There is a rodent infestation issue!" bellowed the commander to his troops one morning at formation. "It doesn't help when you live like a rodent! I can't believe people live like that! I was appalled by some of your rooms!"
Life in Building 18 is the bleakest homecoming for men and women whose government promised them good care in return for their sacrifices.
One case manager was so disgusted, she bought roach bombs for the rooms. Mouse traps are handed out. It doesn't help that soldiers there subsist on carry-out food because the hospital cafeteria is such a hike on cold nights. They make do with microwaves and hot plates.
Army officials say they "started an aggressive campaign to deal with the mice infestation" last October and that the problem is now at a "manageable level." They also say they will "review all outstanding work orders" in the next 30 days.
Soldiers discharged from the psychiatric ward are often assigned to Building 18. Buses and ambulances blare all night. While injured soldiers pull guard duty in the foyer, a broken garage door allows unmonitored entry from the rear. Struggling with schizophrenia, PTSD, paranoid delusional disorder and traumatic brain injury, soldiers feel especially vulnerable in that setting, just outside the post gates, on a street where drug dealers work the corner at night.
"I've been close to mortars. I've held my own pretty good," said Spec. George Romero, 25, who came back from Iraq with a psychological disorder. "But here . . . I think it has affected my ability to get over it . . . dealing with potential threats every day."
After Spec. Jeremy Duncan, 30, got out of the hospital and was assigned to Building 18, he had to navigate across the traffic of Georgia Avenue for appointments. Even after knee surgery, he had to limp back and forth on crutches and in pain. Over time, black mold invaded his room.
But Duncan would rather suffer with the mold than move to another room and share his convalescence in tight quarters with a wounded stranger. "I have mold on the walls, a hole in the shower ceiling, but . . . I don't want someone waking me up coming in."
Wilson, the clinical social worker at Walter Reed, was part of a staff team that recognized Building 18's toll on the wounded. He mapped out a plan and, in September, was given a $30,000 grant from the Commander's Initiative Account for improvements. He ordered some equipment, including a pool table and air hockey table, which have not yet arrived. A Psychiatry Department functionary held up the rest of the money because she feared that buying a lot of recreational equipment close to Christmas would trigger an audit, Wilson said.
In January, Wilson was told that the funds were no longer available and that he would have to submit a new request. "It's absurd," he said. "Seven months of work down the drain. I have nothing to show for this project. It's a great example of what we're up against."
A pool table and two flat-screen TVs were eventually donated from elsewhere.
But Wilson had had enough. Three weeks ago he turned in his resignation. "It's too difficult to get anything done with this broken-down bureaucracy," he said.
At town hall meetings, the soldiers of Building 18 keep pushing commanders to improve conditions. But some things have gotten worse. In December, a contracting dispute held up building repairs.
"I hate it," said Romero, who stays in his room all day. "There are cockroaches. The elevator doesn't work. The garage door doesn't work. Sometimes there's no heat, no water. . . . I told my platoon sergeant I want to leave. I told the town hall meeting. I talked to the doctors and medical staff. They just said you kind of got to get used to the outside world. . . . My platoon sergeant said, 'Suck it up!' "
=============
Staff researcher Julie Tate contributed to this report.

By Dana Priest and Anne Hull
Washington Post Staff Writers
Sunday, February 18, 2007; A01

Sunday, February 11, 2007

No Normal Anymore

It is strange how different people in my life collide at the most unexpected times with the resulting high-highs and low-lows.

On Friday, we celebrated Will's life. Will was 21 years old when he was killed in Iraq. Earlier in the day, Micha sent me an email and told me that Felix is in Kuwait. He's been in Iraq since January 2006 and after being extended in August, he is finally coming home. I am thrilled for them, but my heart is breaking again. This is a homecoming I never got. Neither did Will's family or the 3123 Gold Star families.

Steve just arrived in Iraq for the next year, trading places with Dave, who just completed his 2nd tour in Iraq hell. Steve, Dave & Ken were inseparable in Officers Advanced Basic. Steve & Dave are Captain's now; Ken would have been a Captain, too.

As a Gold Star Mom, you never know when you are going to get slammed. You think you are having a perfectly normal day, but I guess there really is nothing perfectly normal after you bury your child who was killed in a war. This is my new normal and I swear that after nearly 3 years I thought I would have figured out what that is, but I haven't. Maybe that's the point, maybe there is no normal anymore.

Meeting Gold Star Families, speaking out publically against the war, walking the halls of Congress and taking to the streets.....that wasn't normal and it wasn't me. I thought my life was going to be one as a regular Mom living an ordinary life watching my son turn into the man I always knew he would be. Dancing with my son at his wedding as he gazed into the eyes of the woman he loved and raising grand babies (plural- Ken said he wanted 3; he even had the names picked out ;-) I guess it's not really up to us to decide how our lives will turn out or who we will be.

I received a note from another Gold Star mom the other day. She told me try to find some time to be Karen and not just "Proud Mom of Lt Ken Ballard- KIA 5.30.04" because that one moment should not define your life. She is wrong, of course. I am not the same person as I was before Ken was killed and that one moment does define my life. How can it not?

Two Countries; Two Styles

Two announcements of death, two different styles. 3123 US casualties; 132 from the UK. What does it say about the two armies or the two countries?

It is with deep regret that the Ministry of Defence must confirm the death of Private Luke Daniel Simpson, from the 1st Battalion, The Yorkshire Regiment, in southern Iraq on Friday 9 February 2007.

and

The Department of Defense announced today the death of one soldier supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. 1st Lt. Kenneth Michael Ballard, 26, of Mountain View, Calif., died May 30 in Najaf, Iraq, during a firefight with insurgents. 1st Lt. Ballard was assigned to the Armys 2nd Battalion, 37th Armored Regiment, 1st Armored Division, from Friedburg, Germany. The
incident is under investigation.



The US version of the announcement is a press release from the Department of Defense; short and to the point. The Ministry of Defence in the United Kingdom announcement is somber and gives their readers a flavor of who Private Luke Simpson was; with comments from friends, colleagues, and his commanding officer.

The Brits end their announcement with this Please note that Pte Simpson's family have requested privacy at this difficult time as they come to terms with their loss. We are grateful for the assistance of the media in this matter.

We know Bush has no regrets; he's said so much. "The invasion of Iraq, which ousted Saddam Hussein and has cost the lives of U.S. military personnel and billions of dollars, was 'absolutely' worth it, despite the absence of any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq."

Two countries, two styles....

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

This Gold Star Mom's Fantasy

Mike Luckovich

I'm going to ask one more time...Who supports the troops?

Geez! When I think these people in the administration can't get any lower, they go and do it again.

As a member of Military Families Speak Out, we say Bring the Troops Home Now and take care of them when they get here. It's simple. The president sent the military to fight a war (make no mistake the country is at war- we aren't, but the military is). The president sent them without the proper equipment, without proper training, without a clear mission and without a plan for the peace. There is no exit plan either, but that discussion is for another time.

When the military is sent in service to this country, we owe them for the rest of their lives. We owe them for healthcare; mental and physical. We owe them for lost job opportunities by giving them educational and vocational training. We owe them a hell of a lot more than they get now.

When these cretins in the White House say they support the troops; they are still lying because they don't. They don't even know what "support the troops means". They don't care that much of the military is on their 2nd, 3rd or fourth deployment. They don't care how many have been extended because they, the administration, didn't make any plans to manage this war and they never had enough soldiers there at any time during these past 4 years anyway. They don't care what being at war means to the families and they sure as hell don't care about the families of the fallen- that would be families like mine.

When I read an article like this, it really makes me crazy because Bush gets up and talks about sacrifice and then they pull a stunt like this- cutting programs that take care of the severely injured. Yes, there is another program called the Army Wounded Warrior program, or AW2 in army jargon. Why lay off the Military Severely Injured Center employees? Why not transition them into AW2? And what about the other services who surely have severely injured Marines, Seaman and Airmen (sorry, ladies, you, too!), where do they go?

Sources say case workers for wounded laid off
Defense Department officials have laid off most of their case workers who help severely injured service members, sources said.

The case workers for the Military Severely Injured Center serve as advocates for wounded service members who have questions or issues related to benefits, financial resources and their successful return to duty or reintegration into civilian life — all forms of support other than medical care.

The center officially opened in February 2005, with its primary offices in Arlington, Va., but also hired advocates at hospitals around the country.

Four sources said the decision was made to cut back the personnel because officials with the ArmyÂ’s Wounded Warrior program felt the Defense Department program was a duplication of efforts.
Defense officials did not comment on the actions as of Jan. 19. Wounded Warrior officials also could not be reached.


Reports indicate that Fort Hood, Texas; Fort Lewis, Wash.; and Fort Campbell, Ky., were among the locations that had case workers cut. It is not clear what will happen to case workers at the Arlington center.
The only case workers that have not been laid off are at three hospitals: Brooke Army Medical Center, Texas; Tripler Army Medical Center, Hawaii; and Naval Medical Center San Diego, sources said. But those case workers will not be allowed to work with soldiers and must refer them to the Army Wounded Warrior program.


The laid-off workers were told Wednesday to finish up their case work with severely injured troops, and that Friday would be their last day.

“I’m just livid about this,” said Janice Buckley, Washington state chapter president for Operation Homefront. She was notified that the two case workers at Fort Lewis were given short notice that their jobs were ending, but she has no further information.

“They did a fabulous job for these families,” Buckley said. “The kind of work they do for these families who are hanging by a thread ... no other organization helped service members and their families like they did.”
The MSIC case workers provided the wounded service members with contacts and referrals to other organizations and agencies, ranging from the Department of Veterans Affairs to the Social Security Administration, depending on their individual needs. Operation Homefront often helps with the familiesÂ’ emergency financial needs.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

SAY NO TO ESCALATION OF IRAQ WAR

I'm turning this over to Brad Cotton, Veterans for Peace, Southern Ohio Chapter. I hear this will be distributed by VFP at the national level, so here's your sneak peek.

I like the men and women of Veterans for Peace. One of my VFP friends once told me "If you aren't fighting for peace, what are you fighting for?
===============
SAY NO TO ESCALATION OF IRAQ WAR

Out of fear comes the most grievous and hurtful mistakes. We should have listened to Sen. Robert Byrd, D-West Virginia, October 2002 when he urged his fellows to adjourn their debate on funding the Iraq War to take a prayerful visit to the 58,000 names on the Vietnam War Memorial Wall. Those 58,000 names on solemn black marble speak to those who can quiet themselves to listen, lives ended by another unjust tragic war. The Senate did not hear them on that day. Neither did we Those in Congress, our intelligence and military communities, concerned about the lack of any real evidence of an Iraq 9/11 connection or of weapons of mass destruction (WMD), those knowledgeable of Iraq history who warned that invading Iraq would likely result in years of bloody Shiite/Sunni civil war, their voices were drowned out by the pulse-quickening, stirring emotions of post 9/11 fear and anger. "Shock and Awe" makes better television sound bites than the quieter virtues of thoughtful praying for guidance. Fear sells, war fever sells, they always have. The oldest political trick in the book., played just before mid-term elections.

We attacked, a shameful un-American, immoral strike-first war of choice. We became a mob. Now, over 3,000 of us are dead, 23,000 wounded, many horribly, horribly so. Iraqi dead totals are unknown, at least a 100,000, maybe 600,000. $450 billion wasted, our future mortgaged. Our national moral fiber damaged, we torture, we just don't call it that. We hold detainees in secret prisons, with no hope of a fair hearing. We scorn international opinion. Now our President asks us to escalate, compound this terrible national mistake?

Where is the remorse that generally befalls those have been part of a mob action? Did it speak in our recent elections? Did remorse speak through Colin Powell, now proclaiming against the war, who initially warned Mr. Bush that "you break it, you own it" but then, like a loyal soldier supported his Commander in Chief? Did remorse speak through the voluntary re-assignments of Generals Casey, Dempsey and Abizaid rather than continue to oversee this Iraq tragedy? this escalation? Dick Cheney spoke of his remorse over shooting his friend in a hunting accident, where is his remorse over the mountains of corpses his neo-conservative aggressive policies have created? Mr. Bush says he is moved by the deaths of those who might be alive except for the war he wanted so badly. Is he really? Mr. Bush avoided combat in Vietnam, so did Mr. Cheney, Mr. Rumsfeld, Mr. Rove. Would they be so quick to send others to kill and be killed if they had served? Doesn't genuine remorse imply a genuine desire to try to right the harm we have done? If Mr. Bush is remorseful, as he says he is, why is still so blatantly misleading us, claiming it is al-Qaida terrorists rather than civil war that grips Iraq?

Mr. Bush's address to the nation of 10 January is more of the same. More of the same deliberately misleading, posturing and dangerous rhetoric. Deliberately misleading because Mr. Bush never misses an opportunity to imply that we are fighting the 9/11 terrorists and al-Qaida in Iraq. Again, there was not one Iraqi among the 9/11 hijackers. There are very few al-Qaida terrorists in Iraq, there were none at all until we destabilized the region. The inconvenient fact, and facts are often inconvenient for Mr. Bush , is that it is simply, absolutely, verifiably not "the 9/11 terrorists" we are fighting in Iraq. It is a Shiite/Sunni civil war, precipitated, as were the ethnic cleansings in Sarajevo and Kosovo, by the break-up of central authority, the Soviet Union in the case of Yugoslavia, the removal of Saddam in Iraq. This Shiite/Sunni civil war was predicted by Mr. Baker, Mr. Hamilton, lately of the Iraq Study Group but earlier advisers to the elder Bush in 1991, they warned him that going on to Baghdad would likely result in such uncontrollable civil carnage. The elder Bush listened, "The Decider" did not. Mr. Bush still doesn't, perhaps cannot listen.

Mr. Bush's rhetoric is dangerous for U.S. troops, continuing to soak up lead in a futile attempt to keep the Shiites, Sunnis apart. The Pentagon Joint Chiefs of Staff, finally standing up to this reckless President, advised against escalation as the Iraq War is already destroying our military. We brought on this Iraqi civil war, our continuing presence, most Iraqis feel, only fans the flames. Iraq Prime Minister al-Maliki asked us not to send more troops, Polls show the Iraqi people want us out, many consider attacks on our troops justified Perhaps we should listen to them, it is their land, not ours. Is it not?

I spoke on the Ohio Statehouse lawn this past summer at "Eyes Wide Open" an exhibit sponsored by the American Friends Service Committee (Quakers). This very powerful exhibit includes an empty pair of combat boots for every U.S. military death in Iraq. There were 2,497 then, they filled the lawn. It took a host of volunteers a whole morning to place them. I helped make sure photos, letters, stuffed bears, flowers personalized for many of the dead soldiers were attached to the correct boot. I looked into many of the faces of our dead, placed letters from their families where they were intended. I spoke of my time as an officer with the U.S. Army 256th Combat Support Hospital and 2291st U.S. Army Hospital. I remember being embarrassed at being saluted. We did medical physicals on many local reserve units, I remember their young faces, the hopes and dreams they told me of, joining the reserves as a means to better themselves, learn a trade, get money for college. Many of them from less than privileged backgrounds, they were trying to make the American dream come true for them, "working their way up" in the time honored way.

I am sick at heart that we are killing these young men and women so that our President can save face, avoid admitting he made an awful and incompetent mistake, a mistake so awful that it is tough to look at square on. How many more lives will it take so that Mr. Bush can posture himself as not having lost in Iraq, a fight we should never have started in the first place.? How many more lives, ours and theirs, so that Mr. Bush can claim that it is the Democrats fault, not his, that we were not "victorious"? Victory defined as us arrogantly determining how a foreign land shall conduct its affairs. I understand the Quaker Norman Morrison, who set himself afire at the Pentagon November1965, in sympathy with the Vietnamese Buddhists who had similarly protested the brutal and repressive South Vietnamese regime and the war. Remembering the blood Father Berrigan poured on draft files in 1968, I think of the blood that is figuratively dripping from every "Bush-Cheney O4" bumper sticker, that is dripping from every Republican who told us that they had a special arrangement with God himself, that to oppose them and their war policies was to be without faith or values.

We can bring meaning to the deaths of so many. We can ensure that our dead, and theirs, are the last victims of 11 September 2001. It is obvious that our current White House administration is out of control, delusional, mumbling to paintings in the halls as Nixon did in his last days, unable to stop the war. We must thus stop it for them, as our Constitution promises we can. I urge you to write, call you congressmen and Senators, ask them to cut off the funds for this unjustifiable war, ask for troop withdrawal and a pledge of no permanent bases in Iraq. Ask that we talk to Iran, rather than rattling the saber at them, that we not launch a strike-first war in thatland. Ask that we decry military adventurism and thus stop seeing the entire world as" either with us or against us" ,or as an "axis of evil" The nation that lives by the sword, shall be destroyed by the sword. Write letters to the editor. Live peace. Speak the truth to your children. Pray for our land.

Brad Cotton

Member, Veterans for Peace, Southern Ohio Chapter

Saturday, January 13, 2007

They Can't Handle the Truth

On January this exchange took place between Senator Barbara Boxer and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice at a Senate Foreign Relations Hearing. The Senator said she wanted to focus on the human consequences of the decision to escalate the war by sending 20,000 more troops into Iraq.

The conservatives are having a field day distorting these words and accusing Boxer of attacking Rice because she was childless. White House spokesmodel, Tony Snow said that Boxer had made a "giant leap backward for feminism". (what does he know about feminsim?).

The New York Post called the comments a LOW BLOW. They said Breathtaking. Simply breathtaking. We scarcely know where to begin. The junior senator from California apparently believes that an accomplished, seasoned diplomat, a renowned scholar and an adviser to two presidents like Condoleezza Rice is not fully qualified to make policy at the highest levels of the American government because she is a single, childless woman. (Really. I'm not making this up!)

Boxer, defending herself against critics from the right, said Friday that she was "speaking truth to power" at a Senate hearing Thursday when she confronted the secretary of state -- who is unmarried and childless -- noting that neither she nor Rice will "pay a price" personally for sending more American troops to war.

Of course Senator Barbara Boxer spoke the truth in the hearings with Condoleezza Rice regarding the war in Iraq; there is no need for her to defend herself or apologize for the strong message. We, Gold Star Families, we military families know she spoke the truth. We ARE the human cost of this war.

When we met with the Senator at her office in DC in May 2006, 2 Blue Star Moms and me, a Gold Star Mom, she made it perfectly clear that she understands the sacrifice of the “American military and their families''. 2 short weeks after that meeting, we knew she understood our sacrifice when she introduced legislation in the Senate- To spur a political solution in Iraq and encourage Iraqis to provide for their own security through the redeployment of U.S. forces.

It is sad that this administration and many others have to twist the Senator’s words to find their brand of truth. How sad that they disregard her words about sacrifice which allows them to avoid dealing with our own. If they were offended, perhaps they should try to understand why. Were they offended because 3017 US troops have been killed in this hideous war? I don’t think so. Were they offended that the president lied to us 5 years ago in the run up to the war? I don’t think so. And were they offended that the President managed to keep a straight face as he delivered his message of more death to the nation last Wednesday night? No, they were not. They do not have a personal stake in any of this, as Senator Boxer so aptly mentioned. Even worse, they cannot imagine our pain and sacrifice, nor do they choose to. They cannot handle the truth. That is very sad indeed.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Change?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

DE-FUND THE WAR

We are in a crisis, or probably more true, the crisis in this country continues. If you've never written or made a phone call to a legislator; the time is now. If you won't do it for me, or for Ken, do it for your children and their children. But just do it!

If you don't know how to find contact information; here ya go. http://www.congress.org/congressorg/home/ Enter your zipcode and you are almost done!

On Wednesday evening, President Bush will be discussing his plans for a new strategy for victory in Iraq. He will announce that he will increase the troop level by 20,000 in Iraq, most likely in the Baghdad area. The problem is, these aren't new troops, these are troops that will be extended, stop-lossed, deployed for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time. You cannot expect them to fight in open combat with no clear mission and no hope. This is abuse of the military and the troops, plain and simple.

If you don't believe me, check out this group who boasts Newt Gingrich, Lynn Cheney and Richard Perle on their staff of scholars. I don't want to give these guys anymore publicity than they already have, but these guys are scary, as in PNAC scary. Choosing Victory: A Plan for Success in Iraq I don't know if I should throw up or throw myself off a bridge. Their plan? The only "surge" option that makes sense is both long and large.

Crank up the computer, we have no time to waste. Let your legislators know that they might not have run their election on this war, but they won on this war. It is time for action and time to stand up to this president. It is time to end the war and time bring the troops home NOW!

Here is my letter- I even included a photo of Ken in case they think we'll let them forget the faces of our children who were killed in Bush's war.


DE-FUND THE WAR
I am writing to you about George Bush’s plans for a new strategy in Iraq that will be announced this week. This so called “surge” is just another buzzword in this administration’s arsenal of rhetoric to convince the public the war in Iraq is winnable. If there was every a chance for victory, and I don’t think there was, we have long passed that day. Call it what it is and address it head on. This “surge” is an escalation of the war and will only result in more deaths of Americans and Iraqis.

I am counting on you to listen to the message that was sent to Washington last November, end the U.S. military occupation of Iraq. There is one way for Congress to make this happen: vote against further appropriations that allow the war in Iraq to continue -- de-fund the war.

3014 dead US troops, including my only child,
Lt Ken Ballard who was killed in Najaf, May 30, 2004 is 3014 too many- any number more than zero was too many for this war based on lies. You can prevent one more family from answering the knock on the door only to have their heart ripped open and to trade their loved one for a folded flag.

You cannot simultaneously oppose and fund this war. There are ample funds already appropriated to bring our troops home quickly and safely, with the armor, protective equipment, supplies, vehicles, ammunition, food and water they will need during redeployment. Where you put the money will determine the real answer to the question- do you support the war or do you support the troops?

Every day you neglect to end this war you are also condemning 3 US troops to death. My son and the 3000+ other troops whose lives were sacrificed by George Bush will be best honored by a nation and a Congress with the courage to end this war.

I urge you to have the same courage that my son and his fellow troops exhibited when their Commander in Chief gave orders to invade Iraq. You must have the courage to stand up to that same Commander in Chief and say NO escalation, NO more troops, NO more funding for this hideous war.

Karen Meredith
Proud Gold Star Mom of Lt Ken Ballard- KIA 5.30.04


Friday, January 05, 2007

Nancy, we heard you

On January 4, 2007, Nancy Pelosi became the first female Speaker of the House. It's about time we have a woman in a high profile and powerful position in Washington, DC. Surely, no one should ever be given a position like this because they are a man or a woman; but because they earned it.

In her first remarks as Speaker, she made some firm commitments to make change in the way Congress does business. She made commitments to change the the direction of our country and to work in the spirit of partnership, not partisanship

The election of 2006 was a call to change, not merely to change the control of Congress, but for a new direction for our country. Nowhere were the American people more clear about the need for a new direction than in the war in Iraq.

The American people rejected an open-ended obligation to a war without end. Shortly, President Bush will address the nation on the subject of Iraq. It is the responsibility of the president to articulate a new plan for Iraq that makes it clear to the Iraqis that they must defend their own streets and their own security, a plan that promotes stability in the region and a plan that allows us to responsibly redeploy our troops.

Let us work together to be the Congress that rebuilds our military to meet the national security challenges of the 21st century.

Let us be the Congress that strongly honors our responsibility to protect our the American people from terrorism.


Let us be the Congress that never forgets our commitment to our veterans and our first responders, always honoring them as the heroes that they are.

Her words are simple and clear. They are a powerful and by them, we know that she not only heard what the voters said to Washington in November, but she listened.

We will find out soon enough if she really listened. Be very sure that we will remind her of these words if they were just a soundbite on her first day on the job.

We are listening.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Keith Olberman & Sacrifice

This Special Comment by Keith Olberman may well be the best 11 minutes you've listened to in a very long time. (If you'd rather read it, scroll down. )

Will the legislators we've elected use the same logic and analytical skills that this newman does? Will they be able to stand up for the peace that we asked them for, no, demanded from them in the November election.

This should be mandatory listening for ALL of Washington as the 110th Congress takes shape. They must remember why we sent them to DC. They must remember who they work for. WE THE PEOPLE!


Transcript

Olbermann: Special comment about 'sacrifice'
BBC reports Bush will reveal troop surge plan in sacrifice-themed speech
SPECIAL COMMENT
By Keith Olbermann

If in your presence an individual tried to sacrifice an American serviceman or woman, would you intervene?
Would you at least protest?
What if he had already sacrificed 3,003 of them?
What if he had already sacrificed 3,003 of them — and was then to announce his intention to sacrifice hundreds, maybe thousands, more?
This is where we stand tonight with the BBC report of President Bush’s “new Iraq strategy,” and his impending speech to the nation, which, according to a quoted senior American official, will be about troop increases and “sacrifice.”
The president has delayed, dawdled and deferred for the month since the release of the Iraq Study Group.
He has seemingly heard out everybody, and listened to none of them.
If the BBC is right — and we can only pray it is not — he has settled on the only solution all the true experts agree cannot possibly work: more American personnel in Iraq, not as trainers for Iraqi troops, but as part of some flabby plan for “sacrifice.”
Sacrifice!
More American servicemen and women will have their lives risked.
More American servicemen and women will have their lives ended.
More American families will have to bear the unbearable and rationalize the unforgivable —“sacrifice” — sacrifice now, sacrifice tomorrow, sacrifice forever.
And more Americans — more even than the two-thirds who already believe we need fewer troops in Iraq, not more — will have to conclude the president does not have any idea what he’s doing — and that other Americans will have to die for that reason.
It must now be branded as propaganda — for even the president cannot truly feel that very many people still believe him to be competent in this area, let alone “the decider.”
But from our impeccable reporter at the Pentagon, Jim Miklaszewski, tonight comes confirmation of something called “surge and accelerate” — as many as 20,000 additional troops —f or “political purposes” ...
This, in line with what we had previously heard, that this will be proclaimed a short-term measure, for the stated purpose of increasing security in and around Baghdad, and giving an Iraqi government a chance to establish some kind of order.
This is palpable nonsense, Mr. Bush.
If this is your intention — if the centerpiece of your announcement next week will be “sacrifice” — sacrifice your intention, not more American lives!
As Sen. Joseph Biden has pointed out, the new troops might improve the ratio our forces face relative to those living in Baghdad (friend and foe), from 200 to 1, to just 100 to 1.
“Sacrifice?”
No.
A drop in the bucket.
The additional men and women you have sentenced to go there, sir, will serve only as targets.
They will not be there “short-term,” Mr. Bush; for many it will mean a year or more in death’s shadow.
This is not temporary, Mr. Bush.
For the Americans who will die because of you, it will be as permanent as it gets.
The various rationales for what Mr. Bush will reportedly re-christen “sacrifice” constitute a very thin gruel, indeed.
The former labor secretary, Robert Reich, says Sen. John McCain told him that the “surge” would help the “morale” of the troops already in Iraq.
If Mr. McCain truly said that, and truly believes it, he has either forgotten completely his own experience in Vietnam ... or he is unaware of the recent Military Times poll indicating only 38 percent of our active military want to see more troops sent ... or Mr. McCain has departed from reality.
Then there is the argument that to take any steps toward reducing troop numbers would show weakness to the enemy in Iraq, or to the terrorists around the world.
This simplistic logic ignores the inescapable fact that we have indeed already showed weakness to the enemy, and to the terrorists.
We have shown them that we will let our own people be killed for no good reason.
We have now shown them that we will continue to do so.
We have shown them our stupidity.
Mr. Bush, your judgment about Iraq — and now about “sacrifice” — is at variance with your people’s, to the point of delusion.
Your most respected generals see no value in a “surge” — they could not possibly see it in this madness of “sacrifice.”
The Iraq Study Group told you it would be a mistake.
Perhaps dozens more have told you it would be a mistake.
And you threw their wisdom back, until you finally heard what you wanted to hear, like some child drawing straws and then saying “best two out of three … best three out of five … hundredth one counts.”
Your citizens, the people for whom you work, have told you they do not want this, and moreover, they do not want you to do this.
Yet once again, sir, you have ignored all of us.
Mr. Bush, you do not own this country!
To those Republicans who have not broken free from the slavery of partisanship — those bonded still, to this president and this administration, and now bonded to this “sacrifice” —proceed at your own peril.
John McCain may still hear the applause of small crowds — he has somehow inured himself to the hypocrisy, and the tragedy, of a man who considers himself the ultimate realist, courting the votes of those who support the government telling visitors to the Grand Canyon that it was caused by the Great Flood.
That Mr. McCain is selling himself off to the irrational right, parcel by parcel, like some great landowner facing bankruptcy, seems to be obvious to everybody but himself.
Or, maybe it is obvious to him and he simply no longer cares.
But to the rest of you in the Republican Party:
We need you to speak up, right now, in defense of your country’s most precious assets — the lives of its citizens who are in harm’s way.
If you do not, you are not serving this nation’s interests — nor your own.
November should have told you this.
The opening of the new Congress on Wednesday and Thursday should tell you this.
Next time, those missing Republicans will be you.
And to the Democrats now yoked to the helm of this sinking ship, you proceed at your own peril, as well.
President Bush may not be very good at reality, but he and Mr. Cheney and Mr. Rove are still gifted at letting American troops be killed, and then turning their deaths to their own political advantage.
The equation is simple. This country does not want more troops in Iraq.
It wants fewer.
Go and make it happen, or go and look for other work.
Yet you Democrats must assume that even if you take the most obvious of courses, and cut off funding for the war, Mr. Bush will ignore you as long as possible, or will find the money elsewhere, or will spend the money meant to protect the troops, and re-purpose it to keep as many troops there as long as he can keep them there.
Because that’s what this is all about, is it not, Mr. Bush?
That is what this “sacrifice” has been for.
To continue this senseless, endless war.
You have dressed it up in the clothing, first of a hunt for weapons of mass destruction, then of liberation ... then of regional imperative ... then of oil prices ... and now in these new terms of “sacrifice” — it’s like a damned game of Colorforms, isn’t it, sir?
This senseless, endless war.
But — it has not been senseless in two ways.
It has succeeded, Mr. Bush, in enabling you to deaden the collective mind of this country to the pointlessness of endless war, against the wrong people, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.
It has gotten many of us used to the idea — the virtual “white noise” — of conflict far away, of the deaths of young Americans, of vague “sacrifice” for some fluid cause, too complicated to be interpreted except in terms of the very important-sounding but ultimately meaningless phrase “the war on terror.”
And the war’s second accomplishment — your second accomplishment, sir — is to have taken money out of the pockets of every American, even out of the pockets of the dead soldiers on the battlefield, and their families, and to have given that money to the war profiteers.
Because if you sell the Army a thousand Humvees, you can’t sell them any more until the first thousand have been destroyed.
The service men and women are ancillary to the equation.
This is about the planned obsolescence of ordnance, isn’t, Mr. Bush? And the building of detention centers? And the design of a $125 million courtroom complex at Gitmo, complete with restaurants.
At least the war profiteers have made their money, sir.
And we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain.
You have insisted, Mr. Bush, that we must not lose in Iraq, that if we don’t fight them there we will fight them here — as if the corollary were somehow true, that if by fighting them there we will not have to fight them here.
And yet you have re-made our country, and not re-made it for the better, on the premise that we need to be ready to “fight them here,” anyway, and always.
In point of fact even if the civil war in Iraq somehow ended tomorrow, and the risk to Americans there ended with it, we would have already suffered a defeat — not fatal, not world-changing, not, but for the lives lost, of enduring consequence.
But this country has already lost in Iraq, sir.
Your policy in Iraq has already had its crushing impact on our safety here.
You have already fomented new terrorism and new terrorists.
You have already stoked paranoia.
You have already pitted Americans, one against the other.
We ... will have to live with it.
We ... will have to live with what — of the fabric of our nation — you have already “sacrificed.”
The only object still admissible in this debate is the quickest and safest exit for our people there.
But you — and soon, Mr. Bush, it will be you and you alone — still insist otherwise.
And our sons and daughters and fathers and mothers will be sacrificed there tonight, sir, so that you can say you did not “lose in Iraq.”
Our policy in Iraq has been criticized for being indescribable, for being inscrutable, for being ineffable.
But it is all too easily understood now.
First we sent Americans to their deaths for your lie, Mr. Bush.
Now we are sending them to their deaths for your ego.
If what is reported is true — if your decision is made and the “sacrifice” is ordered — take a page instead from the man at whose funeral you so eloquently spoke this morning — Gerald Ford:
Put pragmatism and the healing of a nation ahead of some kind of misguided vision.
Atone.
Sacrifice, Mr. Bush?
No, sir, this is not “sacrifice.” This has now become “human sacrifice.”
And it must stop.
And you can stop it.
Next week, make us all look wrong.
Our meaningless sacrifice in Iraq must stop.
And you must stop it.
© 2006 MSNBC Interactive

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16442767/

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Vigil for 3000 Dead Troops- Mountain View, CA


Under a full moon and clear, mild weather, 100 members of our local Peace Community attended our candlelight vigil in Mountain View, CA starting at 6 p.m. Gold Star Families Speak Out, Mountain View Voices for Peace, Los Altos Voices for Peace, Sunnyvale Voices for Peace, Peninsula Peace & Justice, and The Raging Grannies were all represented well. We displayed the MVVP dog tag display and a wall with all 3000 names listed.

I welcomed the group and thanked them for spending this New Years night with us. I spoke briefly about my son, Lt Ken Ballard who was killed in Iraq 5.30.04. I introduced other Gold Star family members; 2 of my son's aunts, Cathy Patton & Michel Meredith, the aunt and uncle of Wes Canning (KIA 11.10.04) and Dolores Kesterson, mother of Erik Kesterson (KIA 11.15.03).

I explained to the group that there were 3000 lit Christmas lights at our event representing the 3000 soldiers. 300 lights were wrapped around a flagpole representing the 305 California soldiers. I told the group that we would turn off the California lights once we completed reading their names.

The Gold Star families and one member of the community read the California names; some people in the group were crying. It was difficult for me hearing the names that have become so familiar to me. Sgt Patrick McCaffrey, Cpl Jonathan Castro, Sgt Even Ashcraft, HM3 John House, Spc Omead Razani, Sgt Mike Mitchell, Spc Joseph Norquist.....it's all so sad.

The group was very quiet when we turned off the 300 lights representing the California dead. I reminded the group that California has borne 10% of the US military deaths in Iraq; how long would it take to read ALL 3000 names? We had a moment of silence and then turned off all of the lights to represent ALL of the deaths in Iraq, including the Iraqi civilians and the contractors.

Afterwards, the crowd caught up with neighbors and friends. Many people stood on the sidewalk holding signs attracting driver's attention; horns honking in support. One of Ken's soccer coaches from middle school came up and introduced himself to me. I remembered him, Colin's father; I think he was surprised. A brother of one of Ken's schoolmates also introduced himself. This community of Ken's remembers him, we will not let him be forgotten.

One military death doesn't mean one family, it affects so many. How can our president not understand this; I don't think he wants to.

Special thanks to the local Bay Area media, who has been supportive all along. ABC, KNTV & KTVU included our vigil as part of the lead story of the night. And more thanks to everyone who helped make this another successful event to remember our troops. And one more thanks to AFSC who took the lead in sponsoring this event


For more photos, please visit: http://tian.greens.org/MountainView/MVVP/3000Dead/index.html (thanks, Tian!)

Monday, January 01, 2007

3000 US Military Deaths

It was never a matter of if this would happen- it was when. How sad that 2006 should end with this round number, 3000. 3000 lives; gone. 3000 families; devastated. 3000 futures; over.

3000 is a relative number. Depending on what you do for a living, 3000 may be a small number or it may be large. Some people tell me that 3000 military deaths in Iraq is a small number, or a comma, as our president refers to them as. Compared to WWII and Viet Nam, 3000 is nothing. That's not what you ever want to say to a Gold Star Mom. Any number more than zero is too many for this war.

What are the real numbers that so far define the legacy of the 43rd US President?

3002 US military dead because of Bush's lies
22032 US wounded
377 Contractors (all countries)
127 Coalition deaths (other countries)
2801 World Trade Center deaths on 9/11
357 US Military dead in Afghanistan
16273 Iraqi civilians

There is a number that is too large for the American public. 3000 isn't it. There is a number that is acceptable for monthly casualties. I think that number is about 75. The media doesn't even talk about a number until it starts approaching 100. December 2006 had the highest number of casualties in nearly 2 years, but the media was more interested in Saddam's execution, the upcoming Bowl games, and anything but the US casualties in Iraq.

The Pentagon chimed in saying: "Every loss is regretted and there is no special significance to the overall number of casualties." "The President believes that every life is precious and grieves for each one that is lost," said White House spokesman Scott Stanzel. "He will ensure their sacrifice was not made in vain." Oh puhleez! Don't do me any favors. I don't want to go there- whether Ken was killed in vain, but please, please, please, do not spill one more drop of blood to honor my child's sacrifice. No more flags, no coffins, no Gold Star banners.

Despite what George Bush says, 'The most painful aspect of my presidency has been knowing that good men and women have died in combat. I read about it every night, and my heart breaks for a mother, a father, a husband, wife or son and daughter, it just does,'' he said. ``And so when you ask about pain, that's pain. I reach out to a lot of the families; I spend time with them. I am always inspired by their spirit.''
''Look,'' he said, ``my heart breaks for them, it just does, on a regular basis.''
I don't believe it. I don't believe this president has shed one tear for my son. I don't believe he cares; in fact I don't think he has the capacity to care. He says he meets with military families, but those families are chosen, for the most part. They are chosen for their politics. Do they agree with the president? okay, you're in. Against? You are not welcome here.

It's true that I don't like this president. I never supported him, his family or his politics. But, he has proven himself incapable of showing emotion and the subject of dead American soldiers is no exception. Our kids are George Bush's little, green Army men. He says he has not decided on a plan to increase the number of American soldiers in Iraq by 15,000-20000, but we know that he has already decided; kind of like he hadn't decided to invade Iraq when he told us that back in October 2002. He isn't listening to the generals on the ground, he isn't listening to the soldiers or to the Iraq Study group and he may have heard about the resounding message we sent to Washington in November, BRING THE TROOPS HOME NOW!, but he's not listening.

Besides, any President serving at a time of war, who has no problem sleeping just doesn't understand the magnitude of grief that war causes. This war, that he initiated. In an interview with People magazine, Bush said “I must tell you, I'm sleeping a lot better than people would assume”. I wish I could sleep as well.

It's time for this president to grow up and understand the magnitude of the financial and human losses this country has suffered while he continues to insist on victory in Iraq. (whatever that means....)

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Florence Nightingale's December Update

more news directly from Baghdad-

Well this has been a long overdue update. There really has not been too much going on here. I have to say that luckily it has been slow and quiet. Usually that means that American soldiers are not being injured, at least in my general area of Baghdad. We still have many Iraqi patients to care for in spite of the relative calmness.

There has been a 6 year old little boy that has been a patient in our ICU for the past few weeks. He came to us in respiratory distress and had to be intubated. Let’s just say that this little boy gave me a run for my money the night he was admitted. I was in charge and I took on this little boy as my patient. He had this terrible habit of turning blue, which is never very good for kids. So there I was with 2 doctors giving me orders and I’m trying to tread water to keep up with their multiple orders in between trying to get better IV access and resuscitate this kid back to acceptable oxygen saturation. Luckily my battle buddy, was there to lend me a hand and write out all my orders for me and help keep me on track.

It is amazing how an adult patient can roll up on the floor covered in blood and have no blood pressure to speak of, but as soon as a kid rolls up I loose all my color. I’ve decided that it has to be because there is much more of a margin for error in an adult than with a child. I have to quadruple check every medication, and calculate every safe medication range. I check and recheck the ETT, the vital signs, and countless other things.

I have calmed down over these last few weeks working with him. I haven’t gotten as nervous about having to “breath” for him as I use the ambu bag to bring his color back and bring his oxygenation back above ninety. I actually have the confidence to take care of him without being a nervous wreck. It is honestly sink or swim here sometimes. The great thing about having your patient for more than one day at a time is that you can learn from your mistakes and do it better next time. You can also learn from your patient too, in order to better prepare yourself for the incidentals that come up.

I also got to fly again this past month. This time however, I didn’t have a ride home. I had to spend the night in Balad. The Air force facility is very different from our hospital. The hospital is set up in a tent or depmeds. Depmeds are deployable medical equipment and tentage. They have the same sections as we do at Ibn Sina, but there seem to be more. I think they had 3-4 ICU’s, 4 ICW/MCW, EMT, and Pad. They also have a pharmacy, radiology, and lab sections. They have a MWR section with phones, computers, and a TV in the hospital. There is also a small dfac.

Patients sleep on cots and they have to go outside to the portable latrines when they need to use the bathroom and don’t have a catheter. Imagine you have broken bones or got blown up in an IED blast and you have to go OUTSIDE to use a bathroom! Everything is covered in a fine powdery dust like here, but it’s more of a problem in the tents.

This facility is how I thought we would be operating here in Baghdad when I was deployed. I have trained in these tents before with other CSH. I realized that I have things pretty good here being in a fixed facility with running water and latrines. We don’t have all the things that we would like to have like back in the states, but you quickly learn to adapt and overcome the challenges that being deployed raises. Our patients here at least have real electronic beds versus cots!

I was able to get a “ride” back “home” the next evening. “home” being wherever I lay my head at night and for now it is in Baghdad, Iraq in my room with my battle buddy Kim. I had the night off, so it worked out that I could get back to my room and rest. I wish I could describe how exciting and scary it is to fly in those helicopters. The countryside or Iraq can seem so peaceful and beautiful as you are flying overhead looking out at the twinkling scattering of lights and feel the cool crisp air streaming in from the window. Then you think about the potential danger you’re in by being in a combat zone. The bird lands and it’s time to snap back into reality and get back into work. I didn’t have any patients on my flight back so I could just enjoy the scenery and think. The rotors are spinning and you are greeted by soldiers awaiting the patient on board. Stooping low to avoid the rotors they pull the patient off and carry them to the Gator. Equipment in hand I walked up the small stretch of street to the hospital from the landing zone and check in with the TOC (Tactical Operating Center). It is almost like your breath is caught when you get on that helicopter and given back to you once you’re walking back on the home stretch. It is a rush.

I’m hoping that I will continue to get the opportunities to fly with our patients. Right now only the ICU trained or identified nurses are able to fly unless the Head nurse approves. Keep your fingers crossed that things will change for me. It is always a good feeling to be sending our patients on their way back home. Granted they don’t want to be going and they feel terrible about leaving their buddies, but they all have a new journey to embark on. I’m just glad that I can be a part of that sometimes.

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Christmas this year was certainly different and was challenging. The dfac was highly decorated and they had a Christmas dinner. My battle buddy and I opted for pizza instead. Our unit had a small pizza party and exchanged secret Santa gifts. I got a little massager and some other cute items! Other than working that sums up my Christmas. My battle buddy and I opened presents on our day off which was the 26th. Her family sent us a real Christmas tree which we decorated and put up in our common area a few days before. It smelled wonderful. We did the best we could as for keeping spirits high. The command group along with the Chaplin and some of the other CSH (Combat Support Hospital) soldiers went around on Christmas Eve and sang carols on the units. I guess you don’t really realize just how much the holidays mean until you are away. I’m hoping that next year will be a different sort of holiday season. I hope that all soldiers are home for the holidays next year.

I am challenged everyday. I am so thankful to have all of you to lean on when I need to vent and to share my experiences with. I hope these updates help to shed some light on the things that I do here. I will be in touch and be sending out some new pictures soon. Until the next update, have a safe and happy holiday season. I think of you often and look forward to seeing everyone again soon. Keep in touch!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I couldn't make this up

I get some unusual correspondence sometimes. Someone sent me this in an email on Christmas Day (not edited for spelling or grammar):

I do not know how you can say: I stand by what Ken stood for, and in the same breath. Put down our military. If you have forgotten The War in Viet-Nam. About the time the North was about to give up...due to the hard pounding they received under Operation Rolling Thunder and Operation Line Backer. A woman by the name of Jane Fonda.....Lovingly known by the G.I.'s as Hanoi Jane. Was photographed with the North Vietnamese on an Anti-Aircraft Gun smiling. Along with the protests in the streets here at home. The VC say that our government was at odds with the people. This gave the VC a second wind and the war escalated for another 5 years.

Freedom is yours to do with what you wish. You stand hand in hand with Cindy Shehan protesting and diminishing our troops accomplishments, not to mention encouraging the insurgents to fight on through your actions. Shouting (as it is translated to the insurgents) Our govt is full of infidels, we all deserve to be killed. So more die, in your name (actions) called freedom of speech. That is in no way helping or supporting our troops.


I wonder what the writer is doing to support the troops? How many CARE packages or letters sent to Iraq or Afghanistan? How many VA hospital visits? How many pieces of body armor purchased? How many legislators has the writer worked with to improve conditions for our troops? Blindly supporting the president and his failed policy is NOT supporting the troops no matter how misguided you are.

I could easily refute the so-called facts of the email, but I won't bother; it's more fun to let the writer think I actually would consider the sage advice being offered. I kind of think I'm being compared to Jane Fonda. Hasn't the writer seen the movie, "Sir, No Sir"? Probably not; don't think it's on their Netflix list.

And I don't really think the writer has heard me speak- "we all deserve to be killed"? naaaaah, I don't. But no more soldiers or marines need to be killed either and neither do any more Iraqi civilians. I do support the troops and the peace work I do will bring the troops home sooner than if we don't speak up.

Ken would say "go for it, ma!" And for Ken and the other 2980 US military troops who have died in Bush's war, I think I will do just that!

Oh and, bartender? Another cup of purple koolaid for the writer of the email! With Bush's approval numbers in the mid 30's, the president needs all the support he can get.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Perhaps they are not stars


Perhaps they are not stars
but rather openings in Heaven
where the love of our lost ones shines down
to let us know they are happy
~~~~~~~~~
Just before dawn, I sat under the glorious star-filled sky over the Sea of Cortez on the coast of Mexico and watched the Geminid meteor showers last week.
I knew that those dancing stars were our loved ones letting me know that they are always with us.
.
with love to all my Gold Star Family friends
.
an Eskimo legend

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Shame on Rep. Virgil Goode (R-VA)

This letter was recently sent to hundreds of constituents by the office of Republican Rep. Virgil Goode Jr. of Virginia:

Thank you for your recent communication. When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my other hand. I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way. The Muslim Representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran. We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country. I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped.

The Ten Commandments and "In God We Trust" are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Koran. My response was clear, "As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives, The Koran is not going to be on the wall of my office." Thank you again for your email and thoughts.

And I'm going to include his address in case you are so inclined to get ahold of this idiot and give him a piece of your mind.

Virgil H. Goode, Jr.
70 E. Court St., Suite 215
Rocky Mount, Va. 24151

They asked my son, Lt Ken Ballard for his religion when he enlisted in the Army, so it could be embossed on his Army dogtags; dogtags that were given to me with his body when it was returned to me after he was killed in Bush's war in Iraq, and that I now where around my neck. They didn't care what religion he was when he enlisted in the military and they didn't care what religion he was when he was sent to war. And lastly, they didn't care what religion he was when I had to determine the verbiage on his headstone that sits in Arlington National Cemetery.

If the Un-honorable Virgil Cooke doesn't know his history, the United States was founded on the premise of religious freedom.

I am ashamed that he represents any district in this country.